Skill On Both Sides

I love to believe that I am a master communicator, able to get anybody to think or feel however I want them to by sheer use of my words, but the reality is that it's not the case. And frankly, I don't believe such a thing is even possible.

Communication is a tricky subject. It takes skill on both sides: presenter and receiver. We have to be able to have a thought, convert it into some sort of sharable medium, send it to another person, and have them decode it. Having a shared language is a handy medium, and the ability to speak and to write it is equally useful. But even with that major gap closed, there are still a lot of issues.

Thoughts are not just concrete images. They can be actions. They can be transitions. They can be chains of causes and effects. On top of all that, thoughts also have feelings attached. There are emotions, beliefs, values. If a person does not already share those, they also need to be communicated, along with the primary idea.

I often talk about choosing your words. You need to do it carefully. Choosing a particular synonym, a particular phrase, or stating a fact in a particular viewpoint, all will affect the exact message you are transmitting.

But no matter how well-made your message is, it is up to the receiver to decode and understand it. If they do not have the skill to catch your subtle nuances or interpret your inflections, then they are falling on deaf ears. They may get the gist of what you're saying. They may even get a majority of what you're saying. But they will not feel and understand it 100% the same as it was in your head.

It is a little sad and can be very frustrating, knowing that nothing will be understood exactly as you meant it, but it's out of your hands. As a communicator, your job is to present the information as best as you possibly can. And trust me, that is a big enough task by itself.