The relationship between art and artist is confusing. On the one hand, the art came directly from the artist and as such it is made entirely of things from within the artist. On the other hand, artists absorb everything around them and are perfectly capable of writing about things, people, actions, and beliefs that the artist may not personally support.
We should not assume that every character is an author insertion, especially the protagonist. Characters can be completely unrelated to the author. But they don't have to be. A character can be very similar to the author. They could even have identical life stories. But as soon as anything happens that didn't happen in real life, the book is fiction, not autobiography, and the character needs to be understood as not the author.
Of course, this doesn't make it any easier for readers. We love patterns and puzzles to solve. If we notice that many parts of a character's life are identical to the author's, then we ill assume that all the parts are real.
Don't feel like you have to choose between completely unrelated characters and literal autobiography. Characters can be as similar or different to you as you like. Of course, if you do make a very similar character, unerstand that you are bringing these assumptions upon yourself.
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