The Importance Of Discussing Pizza

Tonight is not so much about writing, but about communication. The brain is a remarkable supercomputer. It is constantly thinking about dozens of things at once, even stuff you aren't even aware of. This is wonderful when you're trying to remember the name of a restaurant you stopped at on vacation three years ago. It's awful when you can't stop thinking about the first person that broke your heart.

When the mind starts obsessing on the negative, it seems impossible to get over it. Whether you try to watch a movie or read or take a walk, you can't stop from thinking about it. The problem is that whatever you try to do, your mind still can think about it. In fact, the best way I've found to get over it is to overload your mind so much that all your primary power goes to it and you don't have anything left to think about unpleasant things.

So much of the past, I have never known how to handle people who are upset. Every thing I could think might be helpful, I was afraid would make things worse. Some people want to talk about it, but talking about it makes them more unhappy. Some people may need a physical connection, and others absolutely don't want to be touched. So I would often find myself standing there dumbfounded, having no idea what to do, and knowing that it also was probably not the right thing to do either.

Once I figured out that people can't be upset if they are sufficiently engaged, I realized that a silly conversation about something thoroughly unimportant is the safest way to get somebody's mind off their troubles until they feel less sore.

Being a fat guy, my first thought is usually of food. So when people are upset, I start talking about pizza. It's something that pretty much everybody has eaten, has a preference of toppings, and probably has stories they remember that involve it. Once I can get somebody talking their favorite pizza topping, the door is open. It's simple and harmless, and if they get confused as to why I would bring the up, I can say play it off as a joke or a passing thought ("I'm a fat guy, I'm thinking about pizza five out of every six seconds"). And once we talk about pizza toppings, I can make it sillier. What's the weirdest topping you've ever had? What if they made a candy bar pizza? Oh man, have you ever had dessert pizza? It's actually super amazing. What if instead of using regular cheese, they used cream cheese, and put cherries on top?

Silliness always leads to a smile eventually, and then a good chuckle. If you can crack their unhappiness, you'll be fine, and so will they.

Admittedly, you can also do this with something more tailored to the individual. Maybe you can ask them a question about football or microbiology or whatever they're into. If they can start getting into a discussion and you can push them into a really serious one, you'll get them past their problems too.

The importance of discussing pizza is in knowing how the mind operates, and how you can take advantage of it. This seems to be the running theme of the last few weeks, and that's fine. Let the point be driven home. If you can understand yourself, you can understand others. When you can understand others, you can far more effectively influence them. From there, it is up to you what you influence them to do. Will you help them, or will you help yourself? If you're not sure, think about it over a slice of pizza.