Don't Say Everything You Think

Writing is often considered a very organic process.  Much of it is written by the seat of the author's pants.  They're just writing down things as they come to mind.  It is good advice in general, but you don't always want to say everything you think.

This advice comes in two flavors: the rambling and the inappropriate.  In plain English, the longer you say everything that pops into your head, the higher the chance you will either talk about unrelated things or talk about inappropriate things.

For an example of the first kind, consider most casual conversations you have with a friend.  You start by talking about the weather.  It was so nice today, which is good because it rained furiously last night.  It reminded you of this movie you saw where people chased tornadoes.  You saw that movie with your ex, who was such a sleazeball.  How can anybody cheat on you three times in a week, with three different people?  It sounds like something you'd see in an episode of Jerry Springer.  That show is such white trash, but at least its better than shows like Maury.  All they do is parade single mothers who claim six different guys are their babies' fathers, and then it turns out none of them were.  But it's even more messed up when they have their freak show.  it's just hey, look at some gross-looking people and talk about how rough their life is for an hour.  Wait a minute, weren't we talking about the weather just a second ago?

The other version of this is about saying inappropriate things.  But I don't mean double entendre or off-color jokes.  At least, not necessarily.  When people are being serious, it is inappropriate to make jokes.  If your friend is saying that his mother had an accident and has lost hearing in both ears, it is very inappropriate to say, "at least you won't have any more annoying phone calls from her."  However, if your friend is joking around and saying that he's got hos in every area code, it is inappropriate to calculate exactly ho many hos he has.

Personally, I find both versions to be an issue.  As I write, I have my internal filter on.  The more serious a story is, the easier it is to make jokes, and the more my mind is screaming to throw in a "that's what she said."  And the more jokes I throw back and forth, the more I want to explore and elaborate the premises of the jokes, turning them into serious stories instead of simple jokes.  Every time I get those urges, I have to refrain.  Sometimes it is a matter of just saying a joke out loud or exploring a premise in my head, but not writing it down.

I don't hate the fact that these things happen.  I like that I can do comedy and drama.  I like that I can write organically.  It's just that I also know that writing needs a certain amount of structure to be effective.  Since I can filter out the rambling and the inappropriate things, they aren't that big of a concern to me.  Somehow, everything works with everything else.