You can't just give me a piece of your writing and ask me what I think of it. At that point, my answer would be meaningless. I don't know what you are trying to do with your writing, who your audience is, if your words and examples are fitting and support your goals.
I will only be able to judge it by my standards, based on my assumptions of what you are trying to do, and how I think it should be done.
If you want better than that, give me your goals (and all other relevant information) when you give me your writings.