Excitement

In large part, I am a reserved person. I keep to myself and talk very little. I plan for the future, but am realistic in my hopes and dreams.

When I started writing, I never expected that I would be discovered, revered, and given the world on a silver platter. I didn't even expect that my work would get accepted by most publishers. When I wrote my pieces, I couldn't wait to have my peers review it so they could rip it to shreds and tell me everything that was horrible about it. When I did submit my work to publishers, I tried my hardest to forget that I even sent it so I wouldn't be thinking about it during the waiting period.

This bothers people. There are those who think I'm depressed. They never see me excited or giddy about my writing. They never see me reaching for the stars, praying for the best, hoping for the impossible. These people, however, miss one critical point.

I write. I revise. I edit. I submit my work. I may not pray for the impossible, but I would never turn it down. I don't expect to be accepted by a publication as famous as The New Yorker, but that doesn't mean I won't let them know I'm out there.

I care about my work with all of my heart. I care about it enough to create it and work on it to make it as good as I humanly can. Rather than expend my energy on wishful thinking, I use it on planning and trying. When I submit a piece of writing to a publisher, I don't wait with bated breath; I keep working on my next project because it is a productive use of my time. When I do get accepted, you will see my excitement. I will jump with joy and shout it from the mountains. But every step that comes before that isn't anything to be overly excited about; those are just preparation for the final decision.

What this comes down to is that, for me, outward excitement is not equivalent to passion. I am greatly passionate about my work. That is why I do it, even when I'm not excited about it. I am excited by things that will happen, not things that might happen. When I get accepted by a publication, I get excited because I know in the future that I will see my words in print. When I submit my work to a publisher, I don't get excited because I have no idea what will happen in the future.

If you are easily excited, I'm not saying you shouldn't be. What I am saying is that, regardless of what emotions you feel and how you express them, all writers should have one thing in common: they love writing.