The Freedom of Failure

There are certain situations where you can be completely sure that whatever you choose is wrong.

Consider classic Looney Tunes. An anvil is falling off a cliff and Wile E. Coyote is directly underneath. He takes a large step to the right to get out of the way. Then the anvil falls on top of him. Mr. Coyote is in the same situation the next day, but stays in place. The anvil falls on topo of him. The next day, yet another anvil falls, so he gets in a car and drives a hundred miles away. Then the anvil falls on top of him.

Obviously, it's a cartoon, so one doesn't generally think to learn life lessons from it. But it can be truer than we think. We often find ourselves in no-win situations. For men, the most classic is when the girlfriend or wife asks how he feels about something (e.g. do I talk too much, do you think she's prettier than me). No matter what answer the man gives, a fight will result.

So what do we do when we know we can't win? There are a lot of responses. Most people try as hard as they can to find the magical right answer, because we are trained to believe that any situation can be won. When these people fail, they get either depressed or angered because they feel like they have failed. Other people, though, realize they are in a no-win situation and refuse to even try. Many a stand-up comedian has told the story where they are asked if their wife talks too much and responds with, "Why don't we just skip that fight and go straight to not talking for a week?"

What would you do if you knew that whatever you chose was wrong?

Break it down. Since we already know that the result will be the same no matter what, we have to think of other aspects. What is the easiest? What is the funnest? What is the quickest?

Go back to the falling anvil example. If it was happening to you, standing still is the easiest and the quickest. Traveling around the world would certainly delay the outcome, but be more enjoyable. Driving to the hospital and registering at the emergency room would make the treatment go a lot faster.

There is a freedom that comes from a guaranteed failure. You don't have to try to be right. You can choose the funniest, most ridiculous responses. You can do something that makes you happy. If you are usually stressed out about trying to do whatever is just right, this will be a glorious vacation.

And when you are stressing in your writing about finding what is just right, apply this idea. Some may call it cynical to assume that whatever you choose will be wrong, but it may just be the best thing possible. It frees you to do something enjoyable. It lets you relax. And if all it takes is the promise of failure to put you in that state, then do it.