Say What You're Trying to Say

My friends regularly come to me to find the right words. "Kevin," they would say, "what's that feeling where you want to put somebody's face through a wall, but you're in public, so you know you have to restrain yourself?"

"That would be incensed," I told them. Then they thanked me and went along their merry way. That's all well and good, but they are not quite sure what they want.

They would tell me, "I'm looking for a way to tell people that this poet wasn't actually happy in this poem."

"Ok," I say, "tell me what you're trying to say."

Then they take a breath and say, "This poem sounds like it is about a child wanting to play and have fun, but the poet was actually sick and kept indoors, and this poem is about him feeling a longing to be in the world."

At this point, I smile and tell them, "Ok, say that."

This is when those same friends smack their foreheads and I tell them they owe me fifty bucks for the advice. Of course, what makes me laugh is when I use this exact method several times on the same person.

But ultimately, this is the best advice you can get when you don't know how to say something. Tell me what you're trying to say, then say it.