The Subtle Test

One of the cool things about people is discovering things about them. What are their interests? What are their hobbies and passions? Ironically, one of the lamest questions you could ask another person is what their interests are. For whatever reason, the significant majority of people never have an answer. It always feels like people are afraid to share the things they actually like to do, either for fear of being judged for liking them, or just for not liking cooler stuff.

I like to think I'm better than that, but I'm sure I still fall victim to that fear from time to time. I've actually come up with a little game to work around that fear. Basically, since every subject has its own terminology and phrases in it, I can use one of them and see what kid of reaction it gets. If somebody smiles or acknowledges that they get the reference, I can go on down that road. If I get no response, I try another subject.

I was talking to one of my friends recently about martial arts, speed, and toughness. He was saying how he can take a hit from somebody, but he is usually fast enough that an opponent would not get time to land a strike. So I responded, "He would only hit you if he rolled for initiative and got the jump on you."

To a random person, this may be an innocent enough phrase. Like, I expect anybody can look at my sentence and understand what I'm getting at. For anyone who has ever played Dungeons & Dragons, they know exactly what this means. My friend then said, "And he would need a natural 20." This is another D&D phrase, one which everybody who has ever played even once knows.

This was a really fun example of the subtle test for me. Nether of us ever said Dungeons and Dragons. We didn't go into it before or after that exchange, but we both have that understanding now. Without ever having to just ask "do you know about D&D" I got the answer to the question. Neither of us had to be blunt or obvious; neither of us had to go out on a limb. But one person used the code word (the one hidden in plain sight) and the other person responded in kind.

Aside from being a neat trick for getting through social interactions, it is also a cool writing and communication technique. You can be accepted into many social circles by knowing the terminology and phrases of a given subject. It's a great way to infiltrate (then you yourself are kind of hiding in plain sight). That same technique also works really well in fiction, when one person either needs to do some infiltration of their own, or simply as a form of credential when they have nothing else to prove they belong to some group. It is kind of like a secret handshake, but a lot more subtle.