Everyone Else Is Imperfect, Too

I am always amazed by the insane beliefs people construct about others. I hear people say things like, "I said that I didn't like Chinese food once, but then he asked if I wanted an egg roll. So he must be trying to piss me off." What scares me most is that people believe these things. It doesn't even occur to them that maybe mentioning something once won't stick, or that maybe they just forgot.

I see people say that they started blogs and they would post links about it in one place or another, but it hasn't helped their traffic. Well, some people need reminders or nudges. I know I'm guilty of checking a link to a blog, reading some, and then moving on.  But when I see links to that one blog multiple times and keep finding good stuff, I am more likely to choose to come back on my own. If you assume that I simply hated it or didn't care, then you will be missing out by not being more persistent.

This is a behavior that affects us as writers, but can also affect characters.Though I generally don't like stories about people who make assumptions about each other, I can accept it as being a representation of reality. I have heard real people tell stories about wanting to lean in for that kiss, but feeling like they didn't get the right signs and chickening out. Somehow they assumed that the other person knew exactly what they wanted and was actively not putting out any signs, never even considering that maybe the other person was just as nervous and also waiting.

I think that the most compelling stories are not about people who are perfect, nor do I think it is about people who make assumptions and then act upon them with confidence. I think the best stories are of imperfect people who try their best despite the problems beyond their control, and who can at least understand that everybody else is imperfect, too.