Cheff Salad

The Fun Option

2012-02-01T02:47:00.000-05:00

If you've ever watched a cartoon where a character is on the ground and something heavy is falling from the sky, it will hit that character. It doesn't matter if the character stands still, steps away, runs across town, or hops a plane to China; he's gonna get crushed (and I am not being inaccurate to specify "he" in this case).

In storytelling, as in life, you sometimes find yourself in a dilemma: you have two possible choices, and you have absolutely no idea which one is the right choice. Because of the rules of drama, you are almost guaranteed to make the wrong decision. So what do you choose?

Surprisingly enough, this is the easiest situation to be in. Since you are guaranteed to fail, you are no longer trying to succeed. And when your goal is not success, the only other decision to make is what is the most fun.

If I was a cartoon character with a safe headed my way, I would to my nemesis and give him a great big hug, just so he can get hurt as badly as me. Or maybe I would sit on top of a gigantic spring so that when the safe hits, it will charge up the spring, which will allow me to fly.

Of course, no matter what, you can make any of those situations catastrophically worse (again, the rules of drama). But the point remains that, when you are experiencing the situation, you should choose the fun option.

When you're a writer, you should never create this situation. Compelling stories involve choices and repercussions. If a character's fate is sealed before their choice is made, then you are robbing both your characters and your readers of any true excitement or thrill. If it just so happens that you are stuck in a no-win situation, then I do recommend that you at least choose the fun option.

I Talk Too Much

2012-01-31T04:15:00.000-05:00

When I have free reign to speak, I speak too much. I always feel the need to overexplain, to describe something in several ways, just to make sure that everybody gets it as thoroughly as possible.

I hope that it at least sounds good when I do it, but even if it did, I still am upset that I am not concise. I should be able to say something in one way that people will understand, and also be confident that everybody will understand it without needing more examples or analogies. Fortunately, I am much better with planned writing.

I talk too much. But I write just enough.

The Measure Of A Year

2012-01-30T02:42:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday was Cheff Salad's 3-year anniversary. In classic fashion, I thought about it that day, but forgot to mention it until several days later. Tonight, though, I am in the mood to talk about it.

Anniversaries are odd to me. I've never cared much about my own birthday, for example. I always held the Jay Sherman philosophy: "What are you so happy about? All he did was not die."

Lately, though, I have found the measure of a year to be an interesting one. It is a long time, and yet it flies by. So very much can happen, both in general and specifically to you. The days and weeks all blur together, and yet you may be a completely different person than you were a year before.

With Cheff Salad, being a daily activity, they certainly do all run together. Because of that, anniversaries are lovely contemplation points. Take a moment to stop and look behind you. Think about what you were doing, what you were thinking, what you were writing about. Where have you come from? Where are you going? Where are you now?

Tonight, having written down and pondered these thoughts, I have had a realization. I still don't find anniversaries something to celebrate. Cheff Salad is still active after 3 years. Sure, it took work and effort and dedication, but I love this thing. Anything that I want to survive, I will make sure it survives. It may be impressive to others, but to me, I simply wouldn't have it any other way.

Anniversaries should be spent in contemplation and appreciation.

I Trust You

2012-01-29T04:35:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have not always drawn the parallel between my life lessons and my writing lessons. It's because I trust you. I trust you to see the connection. If you have been a long-time reader, you can usually see where I'm going. If you are new, you can learn from going through the archives. If you assume that every post has a writing lesson in it, I trust you will see what it is. And if you simply don't see what I'm getting at, I trust you to ask me what the lesson is.

Thoughts On Outside Influences

2012-01-28T04:43:00.000-05:00

So, I am reading The Zombie Survival Guide, and I am loving it. It is a tremendous book, thoroughly planned and executed. As I was reading it today, I started to think about the concept of a very realistic field guide based on a fictional subject. What if I wrote field guides for some of my own larger fantasy worlds?

And there was the inspiration. If I could make a field guide for my large-scale worlds, played totally straight, it would both give me excellent understanding of the finer points as well as give me ways to implement it in stories themselves (which, it occurs to me now, happens with World War Z).

I probably could have come up with this idea at some point. However, this idea came sooner because I was reading somebody else's book.

When I was younger, I really opposed the idea of gaining ideas or inspirations from reading people's stories. I felt like it was either cheating or stealing. Nowadays, I realize that theft is not in the idea but the execution. Writing a field guide isn't theft. Writing a zombie survival guide would be.

Outside influences can speed up the creative process. If I never read The Zombie Survival Guide, I could have come up with a fictional field guide idea on my own and never thought of myself as a thief. So why should I feel bad if reading somebody else's field guide made me think about doing one of my own faster?

You're Not Special

2012-01-27T03:31:00.000-05:00

I have heard a lot of life stories from a lot of people. And if there is one thing I am reasonably sure of, it's that you're not special.

Everybody has the same experiences. We all have the same general fears. We all have the same secret desires that we never tell anybody.

And do you know why you think that you're special? It's because you never tell anybody these things. You're too afraid or embarrassed to talk about your shameful secrets, so you never discover that almost everybody has shameful secrets, and that most people have the same ones.

When something is new to you, you feel special, even if it is something that everybody else has already experienced. (This is notoriously visible in new relationships.) If it happens to you, don't feel too bad. After all, it happens to most of us.

The one nice thing is that not being special can be a real positive.

I believe that anybody can be a good writer. Anybody can be creative. Some people may do it more easily than others, but anybody can learn how to do it and how to get better at it. Ultimately, it comes down to diligence, first to study, second to practice, and third to reflect (which is arguably studying, too, but studying yourself).

Good writing doesn't require anything special, which is good because you're not special.

Random Abilities

2012-01-26T03:20:00.000-05:00

As I get home from work today, my friend calls me. After shooting the breeze, she asks me for my opinion on how to implement a statistical procedure for her job. Without getting too technical, I was able to help her solve her problem by saying that the statistical formulae used for large numbers are viable with a minimum sample size of thirty.

I have no idea why my friend asked for my opinion on statistics, aside from me being a generic nerd. I am not in a math-related job. I never studied it in college. In fact, the only statistics I ever studied were in my junior year of high school.

Quite frankly, she got damn lucky. Of the entire year of statistics that I took 8 years ago, I remember two things: the smallest sample size for the large formula is 30, and the average IQ score is 100 points, with a 15 point standard deviation.

There is no reason that I should remember those things. They're random and useless to me, but they stuck in my head. I should have every reason to believe that I will never need to know or make use of those things for the entirety of my life. But here I am, on January 25th, 2012, having just made use of my random, useless knowledge.

This kind of thing is common. If you live long enough, the odds that you will come across a situation where your random abilities (whether they be retained knowledge or physical feats) will be useful get better and better.

In writing, this is a tricky subject. The more eclectic a person's talents are, the more it seems like the author pulled it out of his ass. This is compounded when the situation is increasingly dire. My knowledge of statistics should never be able to save a person's life. But it could make one situation more convenient on some random day.

I like to believe that all of my characters have some random abilities, and that in any given story, the day that their particular ability is useful may or may not come. If it does come, it may or may not be particularly useful. It is the kind of fact that I as the author know, but my readers may not if it doesn't come up. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that, if I can identify a random ability in my characters and identify how and why they have it, then they must have a background and some depth to them.

Small Talk

2012-01-25T04:29:00.000-05:00

I hate idle chatter, but I don't mind small talk. To me, the two are very different.

Idle chatter is what happens when you have nothing to say. You move your lips, speak words, but none of it matters. Like I said yesterday, it is the bland, petty minutia of people's lives.

Small talk, on the other hand, is real talking, but about smaller things. When I hang out with my friends and we aren't talking about global politics or long-term life goals, we still have good conversations, but about less important things.

Conversations in small talk include subjects like: best uncommon combination of pizza toppings, which superhero we'd rather be, what the best fusion of animals would be, what nation has the coolest flag, and why bitches be trippin'.

The great thing about small talk is that, in one sense, it is totally meaningless. The answers to these questions are good for a laugh at best, and are a decent way to kill time at worst. But in another sense, they reveal so very much about the people.

The questions that somebody chooses to ask reflect the things that they care about. The answers that they have are either preplanned or are gut reactions, both of which reveal more about the person. Small talk is an excellent, laid-back way to learn about people, as well as get some laughs and kill some time.

Have Something To Say

2012-01-24T05:20:00.000-05:00

I hate idle chatter. I would rather sit in silence. I would rather be alone. I would rather watch a not-particularly-good movie and complain about it for the entire two-and-a-half hours than have to deal with listening to the bland, petty minutia of people's lives.

I operate under the belief that all information serves a purpose. If I don't need it, then I won't be told it. So when people start talking about their lives, I assume there is a point to it. Until they ask me a question or otherwise seek my advice, the only response I have is "ok."

Don't talk if you don't have something to say. And I mean "say" in the sense of "talks the least, but says most". Otherwise, you're just mindlessly rambling. It's the same reason I advise being succinct in writing.

Shared Understanding

2012-01-23T05:47:00.000-05:00

Everyone should have dinner with my parents. It's an experience all its own. It starts with talking to each of them as individuals, because they may be totally unlike what you would expect. Then you realize that these two people are married to each other. And finally, you realize that these are the people who raised me, and that I have become the person I am because of them.

Once you have had dinner with my parents, you and I will have a shared understanding. We both know these people, what it's like to be in their presence, the things they know, the things they talk about, and it will allow us to communicate more easily. I will never have to explain certain aspects about my parents because you have already witnessed them.

The writer/reader relationship heavily depends on shared understandings. If people are not on the same level, communication will be flawed. If you write about something that somebody doesn't understand, they will be confused. If you try to explain a subject that the reader already understands, they will be bored.

This is why it matters who your intended audience is. This is why you can't please everybody. Different people share different understandings. You have to pick the group of people that does or does not know about a subject, and write in a way that best communicates with them.

Have A Good Time

2012-01-22T04:07:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning and went to work. I was productive, got my work done, and spent my free time reading a good book (in this case, my autographed copy of The Zombie Survival Guide). After work, I went to my friend's house, where several people had fun, played some games, watched a movie, and generally enjoyed ourselves.

One might argue that I was a bad writer. I didn't write anything (aside from tonight's post). I did some reading, which is commendable, but that's about it. I didn't solve any problems. I didn't discuss philosophies. I didn't really further any writerly pursuits.

One might argue that the people who would call me a bad writer can shove it. I have read, I am writing, and I have gained experiences. I have absorbed the personality traits of people who are very different from me. I have been exposed to things I would otherwise have not exposed myself to. And most importantly, I had a good time.

Mental health is important. If you aren't happy, you get stagnant. And getting stagnant means you have nothing new to say. And if that happens to you, then why are you bothering to write?

Imitations Always Fall Flat

2012-01-21T02:01:00.000-05:00

Very often, amateur writers try to imitate another author's style. They may do it because they are impressed by that author or truly enjoy that style of writing. And while it is good to learn from others, I will warn you against trying to copy a style outright.

Imitations always fall flat. When people imitate, it means they are trying to use a style without a true understanding of how that style works. If you want to sound like another author, you need to do more than just imitate it - you need to study and break down and analyze it. You need to know the words used, the way they're put together, even the subjects that would be written about.

Because it would take so very much time and effort to try to sound like somebody else, I will generally tell people to not bother. It is a worthwhile endeavor to study writing styles, but only to understand what is possible to do with words. The best person to try to sound like is yourself.

Inordinate

2012-01-20T02:09:00.000-05:00

I learned the word 'inordinate' in 7th grade. I loved that word. It was a marvelous way to say "a lot". I'm sure I used it through high school, but at some point, it fell out of my daily vocabulary. I heard it used at work today and was struck with a wave of nostalgia and general fondness for the word.

Part of me hopes that I pick it up again, that it starts becoming part of my daily usage. Part of me is worried that it will not happen.

Although 'inordinate' is a great word to me, it is uncommon. People can figure out what it means in context, but it is so rare that it would likely confuse most readers. That is what causes the conflict. Just because I know the word and I like it does not mean that it is the best choice to use if it means nothing to other people.

One thing to note, though, is that there will be a time when I find myself in a situation that the only word that accurately describes my thought is 'inordinate'. And when that situation arises, I will use the word with no qualms.

Faith And Science

2012-01-19T03:23:00.000-05:00

"Have some faith that you aren't the only person who thinks it's good (even if they think so for different reasons than you)." That was the closing line of yesterday's post. It's true, but only the first stage of the process.

Faith is belief without proof. When you are starting out, you need this. You need to be able to write, to finish your projects, and to share it with others. You need to believe that you can succeed tremendously, even without any proof. If you can't do this, then you will not have the courage to put yourself to the test.

But faith alone is dangerous. It's traveling blind. That is where science takes over.

Consider your initial writings as experiments. They are you trying something out because you had a thought you wanted to explore. Actually writing something is gathering data. Showing it to others is peer review.

Through these experiments and feedback, you can improve your writing. But without the initial courage, you might not have experimented in the first place.

You need faith and science. They work hand-in-hand. Don't let one overpower the other, but don't let one fade away, either.

Nobody Reads My Work Like Me

2012-01-18T03:07:00.001-05:00

Nobody reads my work like me. When I read my old posts, I always "get it". The words make sense. The thoughts are clear. The progression is natural. That's because they're in my tone. They're what's natural to me.

People sometimes react to my words exactly like I do. But that doesn't mean they experienced it the same as me.

Sometimes I will have forgotten so much about a particular work that it's like I'm reading a stranger's writing. But no stranger writes in exactly my tone.

No matter what, it is always a unique experience to read your own work. Have some faith that you aren't the only person who thinks it's good (even if they think so for different reasons than you).

Cruel vs. Just

2012-01-17T03:43:00.000-05:00

I hate stories about revenge. It's not that I don't care for revenge (quite the opposite, actually). I simply hate the way it is handled. Every story follows the same route.

Person 1 has a tragedy befall them. Generally, a loved one (spouse, close friend, family member) gets murdered. Person 1 then embarks on a quest to kill the Murderer. At some point during this quest, Person 2 (another individual very close to Person 1) says not to follow through; killing the murderer won't bring back the loved one. The climax of the story has the Murderer pinned down by Person 1 (classically with a gun to the head or Murderer barely hanging on to a crumbling cliff edge), with Person 2 reiterating that revenge is not the answer.

There are two things I hate about this scenario (aside from how often it is done with no variation). The first is that the ending of the story completely contradicts the words of Person 2. Every story ends in one of two ways: the Murderer changes sides or otherwise gives valuable information which allows Persons 1 and/or 2 to remove a greater evil (taking out the leader of the gang or crippling the Empire's primary stronghold), or the Murderer remains evil, but still manages to die (either by falling off the cliff or being left crippled in a harsh environment) or be captured by authorities.

So now we have Person 2, who is supposed to be the voice of reason, saying that revenge is bad, that the Murderer shouldn't be murdered, but the story then makes the Murderer die or otherwise be severely punished. So what the hell is the lesson here?

The lesson here, actually, is the second thing that I hate about this scenario: Person 2 is wrong! Person 2 always says that killing the Murderer won't make you feel better because it won't bring the loved one back. Person 2 does not understand revenge. The world is cruel. Bad things happen in it. This is a fact of life that all humans are tested on. The primary way that we humans cope with our cruel world is with the belief that it is just.

Every society has The Golden Rule. It comes in many names and has many nuances, but in general, what we do to others, we should receive. Those who do good should be rewarded. Those who destroy should be destroyed. This is justice. Without it, we cannot mentally survive. Our brains will die and we will become mindless animals.

The point of revenge is to bring justice to cruelty. That is precisely why Person 2 is wrong and why, if Person 1 follows that advice, the Murderer still dies.

The only thing Person 2 truly does is create enough conflict/drama as to make the revenge quest a worthwhile story. That is why I hate revenge stories. There are only two ways to do them and they both suck.

As always, I challenge you to prove me wrong. I challenge you to find the revenge story that isn't a cliche, one that finds a new alternative, and I challenge you to make that story and shove it everyone's faces (especially mine because I could totally go for a satisfying revenge story).

I Should Become Unnecessary

2012-01-16T03:24:00.000-05:00

I fulfill three roles in people's lives: creator, educator, and facilitator. As a creator, I make stuff up. As an educator, I teach. As a facilitator, I help people accomplish things. And in those roles, I should eventually become unnecessary.

Primarily, this is because I am a teacher. I love knowledge and I love giving knowledge to others. But once I have taught people what I know, they have no more need for my teaching.

With facilitating, it works similarly to teaching. I like to help people get things done, but once they've accomplished their goal, I am no longer needed. Some people might come back if they need help with a new project, but if I teach them how to accomplish their goals as I facilitate them, then they won't need to come back.

In creativity, I could potentially always have more to add to people's lives. But eventually I will have used my ideas or have fallen into a style. It may be good, but it may become predictable. And if you have truly absorbed my all-encompassing central ideas, then you can move on to a new creator's mind.

What keeps me going are two things: First, I have not become completely unnecessary to anybody yet (no matter how hard I've tried). Second, even if what I can give to you is finite, there continue to be more people for whom it is new and useful.

Writer's Association

2012-01-15T04:00:00.000-05:00

At college, I belonged to the Cortland Writers Association. I found it incredibly hilarious that nobody knew how to spell it. Or, more accurately, nobody knew the proper grammar of it.

Very often it was written as Cortland Writer's Association or Cortland Writers' Association (both of which are wrong). What made it so funny was that the answer was so obvious if people would just sit down and think about what these variations mean. The first one is laughably wrong because "writer's" is singular, so that would be the association of the single Cortland writer. Though, I admit that f it was accurate, it would also be incredibly sad.

The latter one is arguably accurate. It indicates an organization which is owned by Cortland writers. And, in a sense, CWA was that. The one problem is simply that there is a far better alternative.

The Cortland Writers Association (with no apostrophes) is an association comprised of Cortland writers, which is exactly what the organization is, which is exactly why that is the actual name of the group.

I bring this up because it is not an isolated incident, but a structure in English. I see musicians clubs and artists groups. None of them should have apostrophes, but you do see them, especially when amateurs write them out.

Learn this construction so you don't have to question yourself the next time you come across it. But if you do come across a similarly puzzling situation, sit down and think about it logically. English may not make a ton of sense, but most things can be logically deduced when you have a big enough base of knowledge to draw from (and this particular example does not need much at all).

The Risk Of Lending

2012-01-14T04:06:00.000-05:00

I have the books of people I will never see again. They also have some of mine. Not that it would be terribly difficult for either of us to replace them, but our books have a sentimental value to them. They are "our" books and not somebody else's.

Nobody stole the other person's book. We simply said that we would return it next time we saw each other, and then that didn't happen.

This is the risk you take when you lend your things to others. As soon as it is not in your possession, there is a chance, no matter how unlikely, that you will never see it again.

If you are not willing to take that risk, don't lend your things out.

The Right Realization At The Right Time

2012-01-13T03:04:00.000-05:00

I had my third death dream last night. More accurately, I should call it my third doomsday dream: that's one where not only do I die, but the entire world is destroyed. Considering that I am one who almost never remembers dreams, it is significant.

What worries me about this most recent one was not that I had it, but how well I took it. The first doomsday dream I had, I could feel the fear. No matter how much I tried to let go and relax, I was not relaxed. I was bracing for impact. Last night, I wouldn't say that I welcomed it, but I wasn't afraid.

Mortality is horrifying. It is the #2 fear amongst people after public speaking. It's the kind of subject we ignore and resist until we are lying on our deathbeds and have no other choice but to face it and accept it.

A person in his twenties has no business contemplating his own mortality.

But, I have, both in my waking hours and in my sleep. And, apparently, in both realms, I have made peace with that.

This is not something I'm happy about. There's a reason people don't think about it until they're about to die. First of all, it adds way more drama to stories. Second, and more importantly, once you accept it, you give up.

It's hard to care about life when you have already accepted your death. You get up and you do your thing, not because you want to do it, but because you don't particularly want to die from complacency.

Eventually, though, one makes a second realization, which is that if you aren't going to end your life, you might as well do something you like in the mean time. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your friends and family. Being miserable is no way to live. (Personally, though, it took me way longer to figure that out than you'd expect.)

What's the point of all of this? The point is that we all have certain realizations in life. Some come at certain points, usually after some powerful experience. We all learn about love, about heartbreak, about independence, about friendship, about death. We don't learn them in the same order, nor at the same time periods in our lives, and that causes differences in outlooks (which sometimes make people incompatible and sometimes makes them the best of friends).

As a writer, your stories are based on your outlook. I could never write the way I did 15 years ago (hell, not even 5 years ago[hell, not even 1 year ago]) because my experiences have completely changed my outlook.

As a character, stories take a standard progression. We meet a character who has a given outlook (which usually defines the character and is palpably dubious). The character goes through some experiences which the character reflects on and then changes their outlook.

It's a classic for good reason: it works. But I always challenge you to break unwritten rules. Consider a character who has had a realization prematurely. How does that affect them? How do they affect the people around them? Who do they associate with? What can happen to them in the story? Do they "unlearn" their lesson? Do they find some even deeper lesson beyond it? Do they simply not change and live their life that way? Does it simply not change their life that much?

There is much fertile ground to explore.

Lore

2012-01-12T02:30:00.000-05:00

I love lore. Every series that I find particularly compelling has a grand lore to it. So very much has happened before the stories ever take place and you get bits and pieces of it as the story is told. The story itself, even if it is small and linear, then becomes part of the collected lore.

But personally, I enjoy large scale stories. I don't want things to be so big that I can't keep things straight, but I want enough things going on that the lore of the actual stories is significantly large even without knowing any of the history.

This is why I tend to like serial works. A story may be shorter because it's episodic, but it adds up very quickly and then you look back and realize you have created an amazing universe. And that is something to be proud of.

All-Encompassing Central Idea Revisited

2012-01-11T03:57:00.000-05:00

I found myself thinking about the all-encompassing central idea: that one concept that you always write about, no matter the specifics. I realized that it is deeper than what I originally thought.

Originally, I thought my idea was two sides with conflicting ideals. As such, my original advice was to try writing about a different subject. Well, I've tried writing about different subjects, but my writing is still the same.

As it turns out, my all-encompassing central idea is sustainability. Everything I write about is concerned with maintaining a norm (or the results that come from not being sustainable).

When you have two groups living together, they must have some history. They were living together just fine for a while, but then something happened. Suddenly, they can no longer continue living the way they had. There was a sustainable situation, but it collapsed.

The same principle affects all of my stories. Even if it is about a single person living in the present day. It's somebody who either has a standard way of life that gets screwed up, or it's about somebody who is seeking a sustainable way of life.

I can't even imagine a story that is not about some form of sustainability. And that is why it is my all-encompassing central idea. It is not about the main story I tell; it's about the concept being found in every thing I write. It's about the fact that even when I try to avoid it, I still write about it unconsciously.

And if you can't avoid it, then learn how to do it the best way you possibly can.

They're Not All Winners

2012-01-10T02:42:00.000-05:00

Writing is a rigorous activity. Good writing takes a lot of mental energy, willpower, fortitude, and all those other words that either make you feel strong or terrified. But just because you expend a lot of energy does not mean that you have made good writing.

Ideas: they're not all winners. Some of them will never be as good as others. It may not be readily apparent, but there are a few good checks to use.

Bad ideas take a lot longer to get off the ground. That does not mean that every good idea starts off easily, but better ideas tend to grow smoothly, even if they have a rocky start.

Bad ideas take more energy per line. I do not mean that it takes longer to write out a bad idea. I truly mean that for every line you write, you are spending more mental energy than you would for a good idea.

Bad ideas need to be changed more. All ideas change or evolve as you work with them, but bad ideas require a lot more to make them palatable.

If I am working on an idea or have started writing on one, but I am just not feeling good about it, I check for those warning signs. If it looks to me like the idea is a dud, then I let it go. There's no harm and no bad feelings. It's just something that has to be done.

Your Idol Has An Idol

2012-01-09T03:35:00.000-05:00

I see myself as a pretty cool dude, but I don't think of myself as particularly exceptional. I simply know a lot of the rules of English, along with a good chunk of words, and I know when something doesn't sound good to my ears.

And yet, there are people who look up to me. It comes as a surprise, but I do not turn people away. They aren't wrong to look up to me. I have positive qualities, such as my dedication and my simple-yet-effective style of writing.

Still, though, I am just a person. I do some things well and other things I need to work on.

I think this is a healthy attitude to have for ourselves, but it is also healthy to have that attitude toward others. We're all just people. We may have idols, but our idols have idols too. You are more like the person that you look up to than you realize.

Make It Watchable

2012-01-08T04:20:00.000-05:00

I can sometimes use the same advice for writing that I do for life (this should come as no surprise to any regular readers, or anybody who read my tagline). But today I got to do so in a more direct way.

We live in an audio/visual society. Most stories are told as movies or television shows. As such, the easiest way to approach a story conceptually is to think of yourself as a movie director.

When I talk with an author who tells me her story sucks, I ask her, "If this was a movie, what would happen?" I like this question because most people get it. Popular stories are often contrived. You can guess what's going to happen next pretty accurately. Even if you're wrong, the fact that you could guess an entire ending means you know how to construct a story (and a classic one at that).

From the question comes the challenge: "You're the director of this movie. Make it watchable." Even if the writer doesn't have the answer readily available, she now has a challenge to work on, a focus and structure. She can think about movies she's seen, what ones are similar to hers, what happened in them, how she can borrow from or go in the complete opposite direction of them.

As it turns out, when somebody tells you that their life sucks, the exact same tactic works. Life is often like a movie (in theory because movies try to reflect life, but probably because humans are so attracted to drama). So you can ask what would probably happen if their life was a movie. And from there, you can challenge them to be the director. They can now do all the same pondering, but now, instead of taking control of their characters, they're taking control of themselves.

Sometimes, I think that telling stories is the least impressive aspect of being a writer (though it can still be damn impressive by its own right). Changing people's lives is what it's about for me (ideally for the better). Using all of my skills and techniques to affect the real world, rather than fictional worlds makes me feel worthwhile.

Comments Welcome

2012-01-07T03:12:00.000-05:00

When I found out that I could add the equivalent to the Facebook Like button to Cheff Salad, I was pretty excited. Not many people actually comment on my posts, but I wanted to invite people to share a reaction that didn't require the time and effort of typing out a full response.

I'm now getting such responses pretty regularly, which is nice. The point of sharing my writing is to affect other human beings. Seeing regular traffic supports that, and having people click on those buttons makes me confident that not all of my traffic is from bots trying to sell me something.

Still, I am curious about you. What do you agree with me about when you click that button? Absolutely everything? One particular point? Was it simply the story from my life that you also experienced?

What about my post did you disagree with enough to click that button? Was everything I said wrong, or just my final conclusion? Are you upset, or do you merely disagree? What should I have changed for you to agree instead?

Were you actually laughing out loud when you clicked on LOL? Did I actually say something funny? Was the whole thing amusing or just one particular line? Or did you just click it because the first two options didn't really fit (or was it just because you thought it so funny that it was even a possibility to choose)?

Your comments are welcome. They are not needed or demanded, but they are welcome. I am as interested in you, my readers, as you are in me. But not too interested. I don't want to seem creepy and scare you away.

It's Not The Same If I Know You

2012-01-06T03:09:00.000-05:00

I'm an awesome editor. I can do very high-concept work (helping to develop a story and its structure),
very fine-tuned work (tweaking things at a sentence level, along with superb proofreading), and everything in between.

The longer I work with some one, the closer the connection gets with them. I get a feel for their style and what they want out of me. Ironically, this connection can sometimes make editing more difficult.

In fiction stories, the mix of reality and fantasy is not well-blended. When I know the author, I know which stories are from real life. I know which philosophies and which viewpoints are the ones the author lives by. It creates a disconnect from the fantasy world. I keep being ripped away from the characters because I see their puppet strings and the author tugging on them from above.

There is not much you can do here but suck it up and deal with it. Be aware that it is going to be weird and, when that feeling strikes you, just take it like a professional and keep doing your job.

Gray Matters

2012-01-05T03:50:00.000-05:00

I find myself to be incredibly frustrating sometimes because I am so across the board. I have serious, deep, thought-provoking conversations (and monologues), but I also make childish jokes. I am incredibly focused, but can be very easily distracted. I write stories for children and I write stories that should never be read by children.

I was thinking about Cheff Salad today and thought about my archives. There is a lot to read through. Every now and then, I entertain the idea of making a print version of the blog: either a collection of all the posts or a selected posts, maybe grouped by subject.

I then started thinking about how valuable it might be to young writers, especially children. There is a lot of advice and thoughts about life as well as writing. But then I thought about how many random posts have random profanity in it, which would make it kind of impossible to market to kids.

That is the difficulty, though. The things I find interesting, and the things I want to make, are not easily defined. They do not fit into any of the predesigned boxes. They are neither black nor white, but some gray matter, bits and pieces of all the possibilities.

Still, I think it's a good thing. If I was making something that could be so easily labeled, then how am I standing out? Aren't the best things you encounter extremely difficult to describe? I think there's a reason for that.

You're Stronger Than This

2012-01-05T03:34:00.000-05:00

I really hate driving. The only good thing about it is that I'm usually alone and listening to music. Still, any time I drive a long trip, I feel like I should be doing something better with my time.

What compounds the problem is that as soon as I get on the road, I feel tired. No matter how well-rested I am, as soon as I hit a long stretch of road, I get sleepy and want to close my eyes.

I know it's all crap, though. If I'm rested, then I don't need to sleep. It is simply my mind trying to trick itself in order to prevent me from doing something I really don't like doing.

Still, if I'm making a long trip, it's for an important reason. At that point, I have to just shout to myself, "You're stronger than this." I know that it's a mental trick and I just need to use my mental power to overcome it.

This is not unlike writing. It's a difficult process. Starting a project is incredibly difficult for some people. And for the other people, that difficulty is in finishing a project. In either case, you will eventually hit a mental roadblock. You will lose your desire or energy, no matter how much you had when you reached that point.

In that situation, you have to do the same thing: tell yourself that you're stronger than this,that you know you have the ability, the energy, and everything else you need to succeed. You may not have the desire, but you do have the willpower.

Cater To A Selected Audience

2012-01-03T03:39:00.000-05:00

In my previous post, I talked about how your audience needs their own set of skills to be able to decode and interpret what you as a communicator send to them. This is true, but I left out one other aspect. You generally don't send out a message to the whole world.

First off, yes, I totally grasp the irony that I just said you don't send a message to the whole world on my blog, where anyone on earth can read it. But this blog is not written for everyone. I write this blog for writers. It is of benefit to people who are curious, who think about life and the world around them. It uses a certain vocabulary that people are either going to need to know or need to learn in order to understand what I'm saying.

The way I write here is not the way I talk (at least, not exactly). More importantly, it's not the way I talk to everybody. Some people get simpler language and easier thoughts. Some people get flowery language and others get it blunt. Some people get vast dialogue and others get a few answers. And within all of those extremes, some people get everything in between.

You have to cater to a selected audience. Choose the kind of person (or in one-on-one communication, a single person) you want to receive your message and communicate in a way that they will be best able to interpret accurately. Word choice is a top priority, but also get a feeling for how they see the world, what facts they are already aware of and what things would need to be explained. Make your communication be as smooth as possible. The fewer bumps along the path, the more likely your message will remain in tact when it reaches its destination.

Skill On Both Sides

2012-01-03T03:27:00.000-05:00

I love to believe that I am a master communicator, able to get anybody to think or feel however I want them to by sheer use of my words, but the reality is that it's not the case. And frankly, I don't believe such a thing is even possible.

Communication is a tricky subject. It takes skill on both sides: presenter and receiver. We have to be able to have a thought, convert it into some sort of sharable medium, send it to another person, and have them decode it. Having a shared language is a handy medium, and the ability to speak and to write it is equally useful. But even with that major gap closed, there are still a lot of issues.

Thoughts are not just concrete images. They can be actions. They can be transitions. They can be chains of causes and effects. On top of all that, thoughts also have feelings attached. There are emotions, beliefs, values. If a person does not already share those, they also need to be communicated, along with the primary idea.

I often talk about choosing your words. You need to do it carefully. Choosing a particular synonym, a particular phrase, or stating a fact in a particular viewpoint, all will affect the exact message you are transmitting.

But no matter how well-made your message is, it is up to the receiver to decode and understand it. If they do not have the skill to catch your subtle nuances or interpret your inflections, then they are falling on deaf ears. They may get the gist of what you're saying. They may even get a majority of what you're saying. But they will not feel and understand it 100% the same as it was in your head.

It is a little sad and can be very frustrating, knowing that nothing will be understood exactly as you meant it, but it's out of your hands. As a communicator, your job is to present the information as best as you possibly can. And trust me, that is a big enough task by itself.

Replay Value

2012-01-01T10:41:00.001-05:00

There are two very different ways tog experience a story: the first time you read it, and every other time. There is nothing like that first time with a story. You literally do not know what will happen next. After that first time, you will never experience it that way again, specifically because you do know what happens next.

The important question to ask is then: is the story worth a subsequent run through?

In video games, they use the term "replay value". You may play through the game in 8 hours, but is it worth playing again? Is it still fun? Is there still more to do? Or do people go through it once and decide that was enough?

Many stories, whether they print or movie or any other medium, I go through once and it's enough. They were nice little romps, but once you know how it ends, there's nothing much left. The experience was ok, but not remarkable. If it happened to be in front of me and I had nothing better to do, I wouldn't mind going through it again (after all, I didn't hate it), but I wouldn't go out of my way to do that.

Replay value matters to me. I never want my writing to be considered throwaway. Even if I make a new one every day, and even if not every one is a glimmering beacon of excellence, I want people to be able to go back, read through my archive, and be moved by what I wrote all over again.

Periodically, I do read an old post or two, and I do see value in them. That gives me hope that other people see such hope, too.

Clear Your Head

2011-12-31T09:32:00.001-05:00

People often make bad decisions when they are in a bad mood. They are overwhelmed by their emotions and their thoughts. They are so convinced that what they want to say is something that needs to be said. So they work themselves up and say how they really feel.

There's a couple problems with that. The first is that it isn't how they "really feel". They're just saying how they feel at the moment. The second problem is that the next day, they don't feel that way anymore, but what they said (or wrote) is still dangling out there, lingering in the minds of those who heard (or read) it.

When you communicate, your name is attached. Sure, people may use pseudonyms, but it can always be traced back to you. Be careful what you write. You may feel one way now, but you may change your mind later. However, once damage has been done, it's not so easy to recover.

Clear your head. Do something to calm down. Go for a run. Take a shower. Solve a puzzle. When you are not worked up and you are feeling more rational. Look at what you wanted to write, then see if you still think it's a good idea.

Style vs. Gimmick

2011-12-30T03:43:00.000-05:00

I hate the repetitive. (And since most people would write that sentence five times in a row for a cheap laugh, I'm going to not do that and keep on going.)

When you read enough and you pay attention to what you're reading, you find how similar it all is. You start seeing the same stories, the same jokes, the same styles. For me, it gets irritating.

I hate essayists. They are the most gimmicky writers I regularly come across. Nearly every essay I read follows the exact same format:

Some mundane scene from my life was occurring.
My mind started wandering to some abstract subject.
I elaborate on that abstract subject, working it into a principle or lesson that can be applied to many aspects of life.
I return to that mundane scene and apply the lesson I just learned from my abstract thoughts.
Everything ties together and there is a touching, usually heartwarming scene to cap it off.

But the arguer in me then asks the question: What's the difference between a gimmick and a style? How come it is laudable to have an identifiable style of writing, but shameful to rely on a gimmick in writing?

This is not an easy question to answer. I do not quite have concrete answers yet. But it is a subject I don't want to wait to cover. To me, a style is the collection of principles used to string words together. It is about the melody, rhythm, and weight of words. It is about the kind of words that are chosen and how many of them are in a sentence. (The way I use parentheses, the way I group sentences into paragraphs, and the way I always make lists of three things are all part of my style.)

A gimmick, on the other hand, is a specific trick. It's something that always seems to work, and so it is reused. That format for writing essays is a great example. It is a compelling way to tell a story and teach a lesson. It starts with action, with a concrete scene. It gives people a way to emotionally connect. It wanders into the abstract, but by then, the audience is already into it and it is natural. After a journey through the abstract, we return to the concrete so that we remember where we came from, had a safe landing, plus we get to see that our trip was fruitful because we see that same scene in a new light.

The problem is that, once you are aware of that format, the veil falls and you recognize it as nothing roe than a gimmick. It is a canned trick which can be opened and used at any time.

I admit, there are only so many ways to write an essay. I'm sure that mine repeat the same styles over and over again (at 1000+, it's basically a guarantee). But I try to keep things varied. Sometimes I dive into the abstract and stay there. Sometimes I just tell a story and tack a lesson on at the end. Mostly, I'm doing it so that I don't get bored writing these things.

Ultimately, writing will always be about entertainment first. Gimmicks are effective when used lightly. They got famous for a reason: they work. But there is an illusion in writing. And if you show the same illusion over and over again, people are going to figure out how it works. Then the illusion is broken and you are suddenly boring (and you also ruined it for anyone else who ever wanted to use it).

Half vs.Twain

2011-12-29T04:25:00.000-05:00

I really don't like it when people use the word "half". It is used improperly so often that I now assume that people are using it incorrectly.

"Half" is a very specific term. It means that a whole is split into two equal parts. If the two pieces are not equal, then the object was not split in half; it was split in twain (or in two).

This is more often a colloquial issue than a written one. I find that when people are vocally telling a story, they are more likely to say that they ripped or cut something in half, even if it is inaccurate.

This is one of the things that makes me love the English language, but frustrates me in its use. It is wonderful to have a distinction between half and twain. But if they are used interchangeably, then the distinction is lost. English becomes simpler, but requires more words to express an idea (which thus adds a kind of difficulty).

As always, I ask that you be exact with your words. Choose words that say what you mean. The most effective communication is the one that requires no guessing or inferring to understand what is meant. That should always be your top priority.

Dark Matters

2011-12-28T04:33:00.000-05:00

Quite often, the subjects I write about here are the ones on my mind as I sit down to write my post. I kind of like it that way; it really proves that we always have one new thing we can talk about every day. But the key word there is "new".

If I ever cover a concept multiple times, I am approaching it from new angles and with new perspectives. I do not write about the same subject over and over again. But that doesn't mean that I don't have the same thoughts over and over again.

During the shower I took just before writing this post, I came up with three well-formed ideas to write on. When I sat down, they were all gone. After some thinking, I remembered one of them (my knack for holding onto critical phrases is improving, but leaves much to be desired).

If I wrote about "forgetting ideas" every time I sat down and realized that I had forgotten the idea I was planning to write about, that would be a good chunk of my posts. Along with that, I would become stale and annoying rather quickly.

But the point remains: it happens to me. It happens often. It is usually on my mind. Despite that, I rarely talk about it. As a writer, I communicate things that matter. That largely means that you don't repeat yourself. You only bring up old matters when you have something significant to add to them.

Because of that, so many thoughts are like dark matter: they exist and they affect us and the things around us, but light does not get shined upon them. This is a tricky aspect to tackle when you write. It is important to understand what is going on in people's heads. If they act and we don't know why, we can't relate. Then we will be confused and will reject that character. But if we keep getting the same descriptions and the same thoughts, we will get bored and angry and again will reject the character.

The best advice I have is to develop with a theme. A neat freak who only ever freaks out about things "being dirty" is boring. But imagine how many different ways that person's sense of order can be shattered. Talk about the specifics. Come up with creative ways to make things chaotic. Now you will be able to cover the same thoughts and issues, but keep them new and interesting.

It occurs to me that this advice is the same as the one I mentioned with my blog posts: approach it from a new angle. Bring new light to the subject. As long as it's truly different, it remains worthwhile.

Thoughts At The Book Stores

2011-12-27T03:09:00.001-05:00

I was in a Barnes & Noble recently. I was looking at a book that seemed interesting, then figured I would go online and buy it for significantly less money. Then I felt a little bad. I couldn't help but think about how I'm the reason that stores like this are closing down.

Then I saw the section labeled Paranormal Romance. And sure enough, the shelves were stocked with an assortment of girl-on-vampire and other stories that were painfully and tragically ripped off of Twilight. And at that point, I started thinking that maybe these stores deserved to close down.

They're businesses. They need to make money. But that means they need to cater to the people. If they offer crap, don't buy it. You are part of "the people".

Be wary, though. The world will be shaped by your actions, not your desires. If you do not buy from local stores, then you are actively making the world a place without book stores. But if book stores are now offering Paranormal Romance, it may not be such a bad thing.

Don't Let Setbacks Spiral

2011-12-26T03:21:00.000-05:00

I have not had much motivation to write these posts lately. It pretty much corresponds to when my hard drive crashed. Without going into too much detail, my primary hard drive was wiped out and my back-up hard drive crashed, so I kind of lost everything.

Fortunately, my very old files (things from college and before) were saved on an external hard drive, and I had coincidentally emailed basically all of my story ideas and drafts not terribly long ago, so not all is lost here.

Not everything is as it was, though. First of all, one of the documents I do not have anymore is my list of blog post ideas. I know there were a lot of things I wanted to do with them, and they are all gone. Sure, there is always more I can say. And sure, I am used to ideas coming and going just because I didn't write them down in the first place. But this is psychological. And the psychological damage has been done.

When I get ready to write a post, my habit is to open up the idea list, and now I don't have one. It makes me depressed. It makes me uninspired. It makes me want to go on vacation until I'm not uninspired.

But that is literally the worst thing I could do. When you have a setback, it is exactly that. It sets you back. It does not permanently destroy you. So don't act like it does. If one bad thing happens to you, don't let it become a downward spiral of depression. Chill out, take a deep breath, maybe a hot shower, and write one thing.

It doesn't have to be the best thing ever. It doesn't even have to be great. It just has to be written. It's the only surefire way to end the cycle.

Seething Bile

2011-12-25T03:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I love the explanations I come up with. I had used 'vitriolic' in a sentence and was asked what that meant. I said, "If 'seething' and 'bile' had a child, it would be 'vitriolic'." (I would have called this post "Vitriol", but I used that one like 2 years ago.)

I think that one of the reasons my vocabulary is so rich is that I think of words as combinations of other words. It's like a thesaurus, but with a twist. If I need to express a feeling, but I don't have the exact word I need, I can think of the components, mix them together, and they become the word that encompasses all those qualities.

Of course, you need to learn these words in the first place, and nothing is better than exposure. Even if it's something as crazy as thumbing through a dictionary or using those online flashcards, it is worthwhile. "Seething bile" is an excellent phrase; it totally is worthy on its own merit. But if you are writing something that has a certain rhythm and the phrase doesn't fit well, "vitriol" might fit better.

It's a great example of high-level writing. Stuff like "awkward phrases" may not matter to some people, but they affect the audience. Having synonyms in your pocket, even for phrases that are not terribly common, is always a good thing. You may be able to make an effective sentence significantly more potent by having it slide off the tongue right when you want it to. Getting everything to line up perfect is not easy. (Sometimes it seems impossible.) But the more ways you can say something, the more ways you can rearrange words, the more tools you have in your chest, the more likely it will be easier for you.

Make Your Narration Match Your Dialogue

2011-12-22T04:14:00.000-05:00

I find it amusing when we struggle so hard to maintain standard written English in our prose, but then our characters break all the rules. You either end up having a cast of characters all speaking very formally, or you have dialogue that is so vastly different from narration that it is jolting.

I thought of a character who was a bit touched in the head and didn't quite grasp the language vehemently expressing, "I am not a children!" I found it pretty funny, but part of me also recognized how badly it would irritate people to see such a sentence glaring at them.

I think, though, that of the narration of the story was familiar or colloquial, the statement would be less jarring. You could use proper spelling and punctuation and grammar, but if you wrote in a more laid back, less "proper" form, you could easily believe that a character would say such an odd-sounding phrase and not pay it too much mind (though not ignore it, either).

It is important to have the voice of your narration blend well with your characters. This is usually not an issue since they are both going to use your voice. But since you should be challenged to have characters that sound unique or at least be different from each other, then you should also challenge yourself to narrate well enough to fit.

What Physics Is To Math

2011-12-21T03:00:00.000-05:00

"Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation." -Richard Feynman

I love that quote. It's funny; it's cheeky; and it's true. Even more, when I first heard it, it made me think.

Math is a beautiful subject when you're in the right mindset. Mathematics is where you learn how and why things work. It exists in empirical purity. Math sees numbers as a seamless fluid where two totally different-looking things can be seen as exactly the same, merely rearranged.

The problem with math is that the knowledge itself is useless. Mathematics is ethereal. It is only of value when it is used in the real world. That is where physics comes in. Physics is the application of math. It's where all the imperfect things come into play and we have to deal with them, but if you have a sufficient knowledge in math, your physics will be far easier.

I bring this up because I was thinking about rhetoric. It is a wonderful subject, but very difficult to explain. I have usually described it as "writing theory". Rhetoric is the subject you study to understand how and why writing (really, communication of any form) works.

Tonight, I realized that this is the exact same relationship as math and physics. And it made me excited. Writing is also a truly beautiful thing. Learning the theory behind it is incredibly useful, and is incredibly difficult to learn (partly because of the lack of great teachers in the subject). But no matter how much you learn about the theory of writing, it is useless if you do not apply it to the real world. Make something that will affect people.

If you don't apply theory to practice, then the only thing you have to offer is teaching other people unpracticed theory.

On Experiences

2011-12-20T03:33:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about a time when an old friend came to visit me recently. He was passing through Buffalo on business and we hung out over night. We both like house music, so we went out to a club. They had live DJs playing and it was a total blast. I could write an excessively long chapter in a memoir based on that experience at the club, and we spent all of four hours there.

Four hours. That's it. But in those four hours, so much happened, all at once or one after another, that it was more experiences than the vast majority of my ho-hum life before or after it. This is an experience that I will remember for a long time and will draw from.

This actually leads into another observation (actually, one I made quite some time before). Some people sound like they have incredible lives, rife with action, hilarity, drama, etc. Thy have seemingly unending stories that make you wonder what the hell you've been doing that you are not as interesting. But, those stories are not unending. The stories do finish and the number of them is finite. And, if you listen to somebody long enough, you start to see that their life is just a collection of experiences, not unlike your own.

As I said, I draw from my experiences. As I also said, I could write a memoir chapter just in detailing the events of a single night. Imagine what could be done by infusing the essence of this experience into my writing. What stories could I tell? What characters could I create? (I don't expect you to know the answer because you weren't there, but I do invite you to hypothesize.)

So what are your experiences? How much can you say about a single experience if you tried, and how much real-world time did it take to actually experience it? How can you use these experiences to influence or inspire your writing without directly writing down your experiences?

Grand Works

2011-12-19T05:37:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of smart people out there. More people are clever and come up with funny or truly impressive things than you might think. But so much of what we see is bite-sized. It's one amazing video or song or picture. One great joke.

I feel like, even if you do something amazing enough to be noticed, how do you do something amazing enough to gain followers? Small things can gain some notoriety. You can get a nice spike of attention (the proverbial 15 minutes of fame), but it always dies down.

The only answer I have so far is to create grand works. Make a large-scale project. Make something that keeps on going. It should be approachable, something you can show to the public, something you can offer in bite-sized chunks, but which are part of a greater whole, and which you need to keep coming back to get more of.

Coincidentally, Cheff Salad does this to a degree. Every post stands on its own, but reading through the blog is a serious feat, and you always know that there will be another one to read come tomorrow.

Shit Happens

2011-12-18T03:29:00.000-05:00

There is no denying the fact: Shit happens. It just does. If you're lucky, it doesn't happen too terribly often. If you're unlucky, everybody will try to find some way to make it seem like a good thing.

The reality is that shit is shitty. (Yes, yes, I know, I'm the most eloquent linguist known in all the cosmos.) Sometimes terrible things happen. If we are strong, we pick ourselves up; we repair what is damaged and replace what has been lost. If we are weak, we give up; we either lie in the ruins or we leave those pieces on the ground and slink away without them.

What people define as "shit" is all relative. It can be something as trivial as dropping a candy bar on the ground, or as serious as losing the function of your limbs. The point is not to think of it as a pissing contest. There are no winners in tragedy. The point is to understand how it functions, how it affects people, how it affects you, and how you can affect others because of it.

Innate Abilities

2011-12-18T03:16:00.000-05:00

I have an innate ability. (I actually have quite a few, but I'm focusing on one in particular.) I can change the way I see any person. And I do not mean this in an underwhelming manner. I mean that, no matter how I feel about a person or how I would naturally react to them, I can rewire my default programming. This means that I don't have to pretend to treat somebody a certain way; I will legitimately treat them in a way that I choose.

It still sounds like a stupid power, but when you have to deal with people regularly and in close quarters, it is invaluable. Instead of seeing somebody as an obnoxious tool, for example, I can rewrite him into a misunderstood victim of poor upbringing (which is way more palatable than somebody choosing to be a jerk).

Here's the thing though. It's not an innate ability. It's a trained ability. I simply happen to have trained it over a decade ago and don't think about it much.

For me, if I realize that I can't stand or can't handle somebody, the process starts up and in 1-3 days, I suddenly see them in a different light. But the reality is that I am putting forth a great deal of unconscious effort and that it has taken me a long time to be able to do that. I forget that reality because it has been so long since I had to work that hard at it, that I don't think about it anymore.

Nobody is born knowing how to walk. Nobody is born knowing how to do math. I know there is much to be said about Nature vs. Nurture, but I steadfastly believe that all of our abilities are learned and practiced; they are not innate.

Writing is hard. It takes a vast amount of knowledge about a wide array of subjects. If you have started learning some of those things while you were young (e.g. spelling/grammar, vocabulary, melody, rhythm), you are at a tremendous advantage. But even if you are at the worst disadvantage possible, you are still able to write and you are still able to write well. You will have to want it very badly in order to do what is needed to catch up, but you will be better for it. If you're lucky, you may never forget how much effort you spent to gain those abilities.

On Time

2011-12-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

I came across this Einstein quote recently: “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”

Time is a strange thing to me. It is fluid. It is constantly flowing, and yet it feels so inconsistent. I always wake up within 2 minutes of my alarm, no matter what time I set my alarm for, no matter how long I have been sleeping. No matter what, my brain knows when I told it to wake up, even without the aid of any time piece.

If I set a microwave for any period of time, I always come back in under 5 seconds before it goes off. It's the same deal, just working on a smaller scale, and while conscious.

On my 30-minute lunch break, I somehow don't even get started writing on the blog until it is two-thirds over. I still have no idea where all that time went. I expected another 20 minutes to pass while writing this post, and yet somehow it's been only 6 minutes and I am nearly finished. (Yet, tomorrow, the same amount of words may take me four times longer to write.)

Time is a strange thing to me. And yet, perhaps because I am so aware of it, I have grasped some amount of control over it. When it matters, I take it into my hands. When it doesn't matter, I let it take over. It seems a fair balance and, though it can be disorienting at times, it is a method of operation which has treated me well.

Ease Of Creation

2011-12-17T02:04:00.001-05:00

Due to severe technical difficulties, I am writing this post on my phone. I do appreciate having a keyboard. Heck, I appreciate having a phone that I can update my blog on. But it is nowhere near as easy as my keyboard.

Creativity is a pretty fast thing. Once you get started, the mind races and the body has to keep up. If it takes you too long to record your thoughts, you either will lose much of them by falling behind, or you won't even start in the first place.

Different people have different preferences. Some handwrite; some type; some speak. Within those three, there are different ways of doing each. Find the way that gives you the greatest ease of creation.

The Danger of Utilitarianism

2011-12-15T05:10:00.000-05:00

I wanted to follow up on yesterday's post about utilitarianism. It is a good method and I find it to be an effective one, but I must warn that it comes with a risk.

You are always asking yourself, "what purpose does this serve?" Well, that's not an easy question sometimes. You start asking that question enough times and you begin to wonder what purpose writing serves (or why "entertaining/educating other people" matters). Then you start asking why anything matters. Then you start asking why life matters.

Then you find yourself in a vortex of depression (or any other number of mental problems). It will take some tremendous force to snap you out of it, and there is a chance you may be scarred from the experience permanently.

If you are a utilitarian or are thinking about trying it on for size, try to approach it as a methodology and not an ideology. Solve a problem as a utilitarian, but don't approach life as one.

Utilitarianism

2011-12-14T03:17:00.000-05:00

I was trying to think about what to write tonight. As usual, so many ideas that come to me are gone. I have bits and pieces of them. I know the gist of the idea I had, but they were only bits and pieces.

At that point, I gained a new idea to write about: If you have an incomplete idea, you are not better off than having no idea. Incomplete ideas cannot stand on their own, and you never reclaim the idea you once had in its original form.

But in articulating that idea, I realized that not everybody would agree with me. It was my personal belief, my way of doing things that makes me say that half an idea is worthless. I am a utilitarian. Function is everything to me. Grasping at a half-formed idea is a waste of my time. I either need to come up with an idea that I can work with or I need to pull one out of my list.

And, this post is proof positive of the effectiveness of utilitarianism. My original idea had something to do with the fact that I tried to start an argument but failed because everybody agreed with me. I still have no idea what the point of that was or how I intended on having it relate to writing. But by not worrying about it, letting it go, and looking for new thoughts to write on, I found something that worked.

At the end of the day, I had a task that needed to be completed. Because of utilitarianism, I did that.

I Haven't Done That Yet?

2011-12-13T03:28:00.000-05:00

I have a list of ideas for blog posts which I often refer to. Some of them are so old that I literally have no clue when they were entered. Somehow or another, something else keeps coming up. Maybe I got a more pressing idea, or maybe I just didn't feel like writing on that subject.

Sometimes, though, I see an idea in my list and I swear I've doe it before. But if its on my list, then it means I haven't. So I go through my archives and look through them for key words or phrases, and nothing turns up.

It is an odd feeling, being so sure that I have done something that I haven't. It must mean that I have thought about it so much, but put it off so often that I lost track of reality.

I am happy to have all of my blog posts recorded and very easily searchable. But still, it's scary how unreliable the mind is. If it isn't recorded externally, you should never be too confident that you have or haven't done something.

Return To The Moment

2011-12-12T03:15:00.000-05:00

Ideas come to us when we are in a moment. You're busy doing one thing, your mind wanders, and suddenly you realize you're having a great idea. The one downside is that as soon as you realize that, you have left the moment. Now you're in your on head.

Usually, one of two things happens: you return to the moment but forge the idea, or you focus on the idea and lose the moment. There is a way around this, though.

Write your idea down. Yes, it is that same advice once again, but for a new reason. Keep your pen and paper on you. When the idea strikes, write it down, however many words it needs. The beauty is that you retain the idea, but because you know you have just saved it for later, it allows you to let go of the idea and return to the moment. Truly, it is the best of both worlds.

Accept the Insane

2011-12-11T04:00:00.000-05:00

There is an amusing internet meme going around, based on the video game The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Every town has its own set of guards, but there is a fairly small pool of voices and canned statements that they make whenever you approach them. As such, they are often repeated.

One of the comments is, "I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee." As I played this game myself, I just sort of saw it as a flaw, or at least a limitation. There are only so many things you're going to have them say, so I guess it's better to keep those short in order to have an expansive world like it does.

But other people saw it a different way. They took it at face value. They realized that, according to what they were told, basically every single guard in the entire country of Skyrim used to be an adventurer, but took an arrow in the knee and had to give it up. This makes for a hilarious (or horrifying) world to be playing in.

Writers do not always catch their mistakes. Sometimes editors don't catch them either. And sometimes what one person might call a mistake, others might simply call an oversight or just not looking to deeply into something. In any case, it makes for an insane world. When you come across such insanity as a reader, it puts you in a unique position to decide how you will handle it.

I recommend you accept the insanity. Play along with it, even if you know it's not the case. It really does make for a more amusing time.

Legitimate Cliches

2011-12-10T04:33:00.000-05:00

So, I got told "it's not you; it's me" today, and it was hilarious. And no, I'm not being sarcastic, I thought it was so funny I nearly laughed out loud. What made it so great was that it struck me on two levels.

The immediate reaction to it is: who the hell still uses that cliche anymore? But what made it extra ticklish was that the person who told me didn't even realize they had done it. In fact, the exact words were, "There is nothing in your control that prevented US... my situation did." Sure, you could argue the semantic differences, but the sentiment is the same.

After it stopped being so funny to me, I tried to answer my own question: who still uses that? And the answer (at least in this case) is that it is people who are not using it as a cliche. The wording was unique (or at least not standard). I knew that the sentiment was sincere. It was a cliche, but it was a legitimate cliche.

As writers, we are taught to avoid all the cliches. Avoid all the stereotypes. Avoid all the common imagery and phrases to go with it. It is a good idea, especially to budding creative minds. It forces them to create. Not only will they make new descriptions, but they will explore new concepts.

However, stereotypes exist for a reason, and phrases become cliche for the same reason: more often than not, they're true. The problem is that the words used to express the ideas become stale. That is why it is so crucial to learn how to say the same thing in a different way. It will allow you to talk about those powerful human subjects without sounding like every single other person who talks about powerful human subjects. And that is a power worth its weight in gold (assuming you ignore the fact that this power is intangible).

Windowsill

2011-12-09T04:11:00.000-05:00

I don't think I have ever written the word "windowsill" in my life before a week ago (and barring this post, haven't written it since). Odd that I have used the word so many times, but never written it, and don't really recall reading it. Even odder was trying to spell it.

I had an idea of where to begin: "window". I was quite confident that I could spell that part of it. "Sill", though, was a bit tougher. Judging from the sound of it, I figured it was spelled in the same manner as "bill", "dill", "fill", "gill", "hill", "ill", "kill", "mill", "nill", "pill", "quill", "till", and "will". What I did not know was whether it was a single word or a two-word phrase. And if it was a single word, would there be two L's or one?

I had three reasonable guesses: "window sill", "windowsill", and "windowsil". At this point, I said screw it and typed it into Google. I found that both "window sill" and "windowsill" had plenty of hits. Dictionaries also had both variants listed, but it did seem that resources leaned toward "windowsill" as the primary form. As such, that is the one I used.

The point of this story is that there are a lot of words out there. There are a lot of words out there that you know and probably have never written or read. Just because you don't know how to spell them immediately does not mean you should avoid the word (it doesn't mean you should spell it incorrectly or trust spellcheck to catch it, either.) Use your understanding of the language to deduce what it should or could be. If that fails, go to the internet. It is a trusty tool. Just remember that, much like any tool, it will not be very helpful if you do not know how to use it properly.

Relatable Or Facinating, But Not Disgusting

2011-12-08T04:19:00.000-05:00

I don't want to be disgusted. Somethings are totally disgusting, and I freely admit that, but in principle, that is a reaction I should not experience.

Everything should be either relatable or fascinating. I either need to view an experience as "ah yes, I know exactly what that feels like" or "wow, that is so strange that I cannot imagine how one could feel like that (but I want t find out)."

When you're disgusted, you are rejecting what you see. You deem it as something so terrible that you do not wish to taint yourself by being in its presence or in any way acknowledging it.

This is not conducive to being a good writer. Frankly, it's not conducive to being a good person. But let's stick with writing for now.

Writing is about exploration. It's about learning something, maybe learning a lot of somethings. It will involve handling stuff that's unpleasant.It goes with the territory. Create a mental barrier and dive in.

I do not in any way support abusive relationships. They're abominable. But they are so bizarre to me that I cannot help but seek an understanding of it. How can a person be so warped as to think that their relationship is healthy or that their abuser loves them? I don't know, but I really want to.

You may get weird looks from people when you tell them that you are studying an ugly thing (and people may not be happy if you write about them), but writing is not about making people happy at the cost of not learning.

Remember that you are not the subject you study. Remember that something fascinates you because you don't understand it, not because you want to embody it. Remember that if everything is relatable or fascinating, you will always be surrounded with good material to write about.

Only Regret It A Little

2011-12-07T04:02:00.000-05:00

At 2 AM, I had a wheat bagel, covered it in off-brand Nutella, and topped it with home-made apple sauce. It was as delicious as it sounds. But, why the hell did I make this fairly big snack at so late at night? Aren't I going to bed soon? Isn't that a terrible idea?

Well, kinda, yeah. But I know two things about myself. One is that I take longer to get things done than I expect. The other is that it is way more unpleasant to go to bed on an empty stomach than a full one.

Now that it's some hours later, I can feel that my belly is full. Would I have been happier having made something lighter? Probably. Do I regret my choice? Only a little. It was a delicious thing that I created for the first time and I thoroughly enjoyed consuming it.

In our stories, we often paint things as either black or white. Doing bad things causes great regret. Doing good things causes great joy. But the interesting things are gray. What happens when somebody does something that is not good, but really isn't that bad? What the proper reaction to have? What judgement should we as the audience pass on said character?

New Document

2011-12-06T03:42:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about surveys. Specifically, I was thinking about how a great number of people I know are going to have to take them soon and where they are going to come from. There is no such thing as a default survey. There is a default survey format, but the questions are always going to be unique to the subject being discussed. That means it is probably going to be me who has to make those surveys.

At that point, I started thinking about how many documents I've made. Some have been trivial and some have been important, but all have been new. And I'm just one person. Imagine how many people are making new documents every single day.

It is stunning and beautiful to think of all of these new documents. It may be less beautiful when you think about how much of them are crap or utter nonsense, but ignore that for a moment and ponder the sheer quantity and scope of new documents being made.

Every single new document is a creation: something that exists now, which previously did not. It is an addition to the world. To be a part of that is a wonderful feeling. And no matter how big or small it may be, every time you open a new document, you are part of that, too.

Monsters

2011-12-05T03:40:00.000-05:00

The concept of monsters is fascinating to me. Monsters are creatures of pure evil who exist only to cause harm, destruction, and chaos.

Even wild animals would sooner be called beasts. Beasts, no matter how savage, can be soothed. They can be understood. They have feelings and struggle to survive. People may not like beasts, but at least if you leave them alone, they tend to leave you alone.

Monsters, though, have no emotions. The only ones they may feel are hate, spite, and malice. They are governed only by their desire to ruin things. They kill not to survive, but merely to end life. They attack things not because they feel threatened, but because a target to attack was noticed.

When you look at the way that the word 'monster' is used, you will see that it is for things which have no humanity and warrant no empathy or compassion. They are black holes, soulless demons.

Monsters exist in fairy tales because that is about the only place they can survive. Anywhere else, some one or something may seem monstrous (and some people may truly deserve that title), but they always maintain some shred of humanity. Things are alive. They struggle to survive. They have feelings and desires. These are characteristics that we should not ignore (otherwise you may be accused of being monstrous).

Of course, since writing is always about challenging authority, I would love to see somebody tell the story of a true, living monster.

Creativity With Ambiguity

2011-12-04T03:24:00.000-05:00

As a rule, I hate ambiguity. I find it to be the representation of a flaw in the author's knowledge of his or her subject. Ambiguous language leads to confusion in audience members, and even when used purposefully like in a comedy of errors, it simply comes off as cheap and hackneyed.

Many rules, though, do get broken (especially when talking about what you can and can't do in writing). I have written recently about how annoying it is that the word "last" has two very common and very different meanings, which can make for very ambiguous and confusing sentences. However, it can also be used creatively and artistically.

In the Ben Folds song Annie Waits, part of the chorus goes, "Annie Waits for the last time / Just the same as the last time." This is a song about a woman who is consistently stood up by men, loses faith in it all, but keeps on going for the same kind of man, and thus getting the same results. I find those lyrics to be particularly poignant; they reinforce that the same thing keeps happening by using the same word, as well as what that word means. It is extremely creative and I applaud it.

Of course, if everybody used that turn of phrase, it would lose its efficacy, but since Ben Folds did it first (or at least most profoundly to me), it is amazing to me. It is proof positive that just because ambiguity (or ambiguous words) is bad in general does not mean that they cannot be used creatively.

Part of good writing is being able to find those loopholes, those creative ways to break the rules and be lauded for it.

"Guess The Joke"

2011-12-03T04:22:00.000-05:00

I hate sitcoms. I hate all of them with extreme prejudice. It is based on a very heavy formula which has remained unchanged in its core throughout time. It is a set of characters who act relatively normal and then have periodic bouts of being completely out of character.

Whenever I watch sitcoms, I play a game called "Guess the Joke". It is a game I created when I was a child and realized that even when watching an episode of any sitcom for the first time, I had nigh psychic powers in predicting when a joke was going to happen and what the joke would be.

Of course, I'm not psychic; I'm just observant. It's all formula. Characters act in a particular manner like any average Joe would. But then something...off...happens. Somebody uses a word that's uncommon. They say a phrase that is out of the ordinary. Somebody responds to a stressful situation by saying something unnecessarily mean or somebody responds unreasonably harshly to a comment that was obviously not intended to be offensive (that is the basis of a similar game called Guess the Fight).

I've watched a great many sitcoms. I've watched them from different decades and about different subjects. But they all end up the same. I can forgive the fact that episodes are very often interchangeable. It's comedy, not drama. "At the end of the episode, everything's always right back to normal." But even within their format, there is a general lack of creativity, and that is what makes me so frustrated with them.

Structure is great. It allows for creativity within confines. The ultimate example of such is Dinosaur Comics. The same six panels for every single comic, and yet continuously new and interesting and funny. Sitcoms are the opposite. They are confines without creativity. They are the same tired premises and jokes day after day. It is a concept which should have potential, but consistently fails.

Writing is a serial act, so in a sense, you are always creating serial works (though they may have completely different characters, settings, premises, etc). Make sure that you keep doing something new. If you can recognize that you've used a certain trick or angle before, then it is definitely time to move on.

By the way. Guess the Joke is rather unofficial; there are no strict rules, but if you want to play along, the gist of it is that you announce in what the punchline of any joke is in the brief pause before the character says the joke. You get some points for correctly predicting when the joke is (e.g. if another line is said that isn't a punchline, you get no points) and then if they use the same joke or a close-enough variant, you get additional points. There is no way to win this game because you have to watch a sitcom to play and every time you are correct in predicting, you are driven further mad by reinforcing how pathetic and stale sitcom writing is. (I suppose you could turn it into a drinking game, but on behalf of your livers, I beg you not to.)

Mad Scientist

2011-12-02T03:44:00.000-05:00

I think the Mad Scientist character is a fascinating one to study. Characters are people and, as such, are driven by some motivation to do what they do. There are two flavors of mad scientist we tend to see.

The first kind is the world-domination mad scientist. These are the people who create crazy inventions to either become rich or dominate the world. I find these characters comical at best and tragically brainless at worst. If you could create such amazing technology, you could obviously sell aspects of it to legally become rich. And if you wanted to take over the world, you're no better than a dog chasing a car. What would you do if you ever caught it?

The second kind of mad scientist is the knowledge-at-all-costs kind. Now these are your terrifying characters. Science is a pursuit of knowledge and understanding, but there are certain things we don't do because of our morals and such. The mad scientist cares not for the morals of man, but only about the pursuit and acquisition of knowledge.

The latter mad scientists are also scary because they are almost relatable. Knowledge is awesome. Understanding things is cool. And the next mind-blowing invention will never exist if we don't find out what is possible. We also know that a lot of things that society gets all uptight about can often be really stupid. And yet, mad scientists tend to cross the line that even we think is too far, but they don't have any regret or remorse because they don't think they went too far.

I sometimes catch myself wondering if I could have become a mad scientist under different circumstances. If that's not the most chilling thought, I don't know what is. (And if your story provoked that thought/chill, then you are a good writer.)

Ambiguity vs. Mystery

2011-12-01T03:23:00.000-05:00

There's a whole lot of information that just isn't known in a story. And when I am reading a person's story, I am always asking for that information. "What's the deal with his parents?" "Who did start the fire?" "What could have possibly instilled an irrational fear of cotton candy?"

I ask those questions within the first few chapters of a story and part of me is upset that I don't know right away. But nowadays I bite my tongue because I know that all those answers are coming. I will not talk about a story until I have read it through once. Stories involve a certain amount of mystery and the satisfaction comes later on when the mystery is solved.

Sometimes, though, the mystery is with the author. For example, I sometimes write a story and just can't decide what I want to be the truth. What history do I want my character to have? What exactly is her relationship to the other main character? Well, if I don't know, I leave it up in the air. I leave it for the readers to ponder and argue over.

But that is not mystery. That's just ambiguity. And I believe that ambiguity is a bad thing in writing. I find it to be a sign of weak and inferiorly constructed worlds.

When the audience doesn't know something, it's mystery. When the author doesn't know something, it's ambiguity.

Give Yourself Homework

2011-11-30T04:13:00.000-05:00

Writing is a voluntary act. That's a great thing in general, doing something because you enjoy doing it. And yet, people seem to have a real issue with doing things voluntarily. We're so used to being forced to do things that anything that isn't a requirement keeps getting put off.

If that is your problem, then your fix is simple. Make writing an assignment. Give yourself homework.

Every time I go out to relax or have fun, I come up with several things I want to write about. If I go to a concert, all the free space on the program is filled with my notes.

But notes alone don't cut it. I've been writing notes for quite a while and I guarantee that plenty have gone unused. The difference between then and now is that now I have to cross them off my list. My to-do list stays in sight until I get to finish it and throw it out (and that achievement is really nice and worth the effort of completing).

And throughout it all, I have this blog. Cheff Salad is my homework. Or rather, it's my excuse. This is why I write regardless of my mood. This is why I take the time to write down my thoughts. This is why I do something with those thoughts. It started with somebody else pushing me into it, but it has been my self-enforced homework for years now.

And it is because of that homework that I am still a writer.

Leap Sideways

2011-11-29T04:22:00.000-05:00

Suppose you are going to leap over a puddle of water and you are not quite sure you can make it. What you are certain of is that you need to get as much distance as you possibly can.

So, how do you do it? You get a bit of a running start (not more than a few steps), make sure your stronger foot steps down at the close edge of the puddle, and then leap forward across the puddle. But you don't continue to face forward. You turn your hips as you extend mid-leap; this pushes your body and your front foot ever so much further forward. You also throw your arms out to gain a little more momentum and a little wider stretch.

Although you think you're leaping forward, you're actually leaping sideways. And to an outside observer, you look pretty damn goofy. That's not how people leap in the movies. In movies, they look super cool and always stick their landings.

Well, this isn't the movies. This is real life. And in real life, success is way more important than looking good (or looking how other people think is good).

And what's the point here? The point is what I just said above: success is more important than looking good. Most writers have some particular way of doing things when they create. Some people find it very mystical and others simply have developed habits or preferences. But the common folk probably would see it as a weird or goofy way to do things. Don't worry about that. Worry about writing successfully. Because once you create something amazing, nobody will care how you looked while you made it.

Absence

2011-11-28T03:55:00.001-05:00

Periodically, I need everybody to shut up and leave me alone.

Don't get me wrong. I do like the people in my life. They are very dear to me. But I'm introverted; I relax, calm down, and process stress through solitude.

I like to help people and I am happy that people come to me with their problems. But sometimes I have my own problems that I'm dealing with. And when everybody I know is having a bad day at the same time that I'm having a bad day, I need everybody to shut up and leave me alone.

This is a delicate endeavor, though. When you push people away, you run the risk that they don't come back (which is magnified when either party is in a stressed state). And if you push away somebody you like, you may find that it is even worse to be without them than it is to deal with them being overbearing.

I treat writing the same way that I treat people. Writing is a daily activity to me; it gets regular attention. However, some days i really just don't want to do it. On those days, I go to bed and don't even write a post. But I never want writing to be gone forever. That is why I always return and make up for the loss.

That is also why, on the days that I am so upset with writing that I contemplate ending this blog, I take extra special effort to write a post. I know that if I entertain that thought and push away writing, there is a chance it won't come back (or that it will take way longer than I want to wait for it to return).

If you love to write, then write. If you need to take a day or two off just for a break, that's ok. But if you're in a bad mood and you're overwhelmed, don't let those stresses make you choose a bad decision.

Last Time

2011-11-27T03:42:00.000-05:00

I really hate the word "last". I still use it every day, but that doesn't make it less of a frustrating word. "Last" means both "final" and "previous". How is that not the most confusing (and therefore obnoxious) word?

Certainly, context clues tend to illuminate which meaning we intend, but the ambiguity still exists. In certain situations, it is not clear which definition is used, and can cause all sorts of head-scratching.

A reason to use "last" is that it is more common. Not that "previous" or "final" are uncommon words, but "last" is more colloquial. So I'm not saying to avoid the word, but to be very aware of how it might be interpreted.

If you're not careful, you may do something stupid like give your blog post a title that sounds as if you are ending it.

Side Quests

2011-11-26T05:48:00.000-05:00

I was reading an article about Skyrim, a video game which allows the player to go anywhere they can reach in an open environment. The story of the game involves a main line of quests, where the player goes to different places and fetches items or kills bad guys. But along the way, you can talk to strangers, listen in on conversations, or just explore random caves or ruins and discover the journal of a long-dead explorer or bandit, any of which might start a quest aside from the main questline (a sidequest, if you will).

The article in full:
You know what I found odd while playing Skyrim? (Hold on) While playing, I would find myself starting a quest and ending with having more than what I began with. This excites me as I become more and more busy within the world of Tamirel. Now I thought to myself, "Heck, I have the main mission, brb peoplez," and went off to beat the game. Then I beat the game. Then I felt as if I did not feel like playing anymore. It's like the feeling of doing stuff before beating the game felt better than say...beating them after completing the main mission.

Nobody has that feeling too?

I've been thinking about this article the last several days, mostly because it's true. I am playing Skyrim and really do want to see the main story play through, but I keep putting it off, and I know that this is why. If I beat the main story, I am certain I'm going to end up being the big badass savior of the world for it. And once you reach that title, why am I going to go through the ranks of all the organizations, getting pushed around like some punk who doesn't know jack? Don't they know who I am?! (Of course not; they're just lines of computer code.)

But there's more to it, and I figured it out tonight. It goes along with what I said up above. And it actually comes down to storytelling. Games like this involve a certain amount of role-playing (hence being classified as an RPG, or role-playing game). You have to get into the story not just of the events around you, but of your character, too.

Prose stories involve sidequests of a sort. Something holds up the main characters from doing the main thing they have set out to do. But this is not done to be a waste of time or to fill blank pages. Side quests show the audience who these characters are. We learn what they might do and how they think. The characters themselves also grow by gaining experience and earning trust (or infamy) of the others.

I know that, when I am playing Skyrim, I will get around to saving he world after I have become the leader of all the groups, bought all the houses, helped all the citizens, and plundered all the gold and trinkets.

I will save the world when I care about the world. Or maybe, when I own a significant chunk of it. That's why we have side quests and not post quests.

Below Me

2011-11-25T02:45:00.000-05:00

As a writer, you need to have pride. As a professional writer, it becomes even more crucial. Don't take "anything you can get". Have some standards. Have some self respect. Know that if you let people abuse you, they will continue to do so.

If you stand up for yourself, one of two things will happen. Either you will be hired at rates and with respect that you deserve, or they will try to find some other spineless writer to take advantage of. In the latter case, their work will probably be sub-par, which is what gives you the edge.

The beauty, though, is that, if every writer would simply say when some deal was below them, we wouldn't have this problem in the first place.

Next time somebody throws a lousy offer your way, stand up proud and strong and shout out, "Below me!"

The Story You Write Today

2011-11-24T02:22:00.000-05:00

Ideas come and go. That's just the way things are. We try to combat that. We write those ideas down. We save their essence for us to return to later, when we have the time to handle them. But when that time does arrive, the idea isn't there.

That's why we have our notes though. We read them and it brings the idea back to us. But the idea isn't the same. You don't remember what you were going to say. You knew you had some good lines. You had a whole thought progression you wanted to take. But they aren't there anymore. You have words on paper. Now what?

Now what?! Now you write your story! It sucks you lost the spark. Having that feeling of inspiration along with that major motivation is awesome. But sometimes it just isn't there. Tough luck. You still have to write.

Here's the thing though. The story you were going to write a week ago is gone. You can't reclaim it. All you have is the story you write today. Do not try to reclaim those lost lines. They're lost. Make up new ones. You will. You always have something worth saying.

You may end up saying the same thing with different words. You may end up saying something completely different. I know I've done both of those things.

Writing is very much about the thoughts that come to you while you are putting down words. It may change from day to day, or even hour to hour. Maybe if you started writing at 9:00 instead of 10:00, you would have come up with a completely different story. There's no way to know for sure. But it doesn't matter. Write what you write. If you don't like it, change it. If you want to give it a second shot, do so. Writing is a serial act, so there's always a next time.

Writing Is A Serial Act

2011-11-24T01:49:00.000-05:00

All of my advice is geared toward long-term writing. I always talk about what to try for your next project, your next idea, your next session. There's a reason for that: All writing is long-term writing.

Writing is a serial act. You do it some, then you do it some more. You finish one thing and you start another. Once you stop writing, you're not a writer, so the whole thing is predicated on their being a next thing.

If you prefer long narratives like novels, then you are mostly working on your next session. There are a lot more of them. If you prefer the poem or the short story, then you are more apt to be thinking about what to do for your next project.

However you do it, there's always more writing to do. You make more words. You change words you've already made. You try new ways of doing so. That's what it's about sometimes - just trying out a new way of doing it and seeing how you like it.

Retired Grammar Nazi

2011-11-22T03:24:00.000-05:00

I used to be a pretty hardcore grammar nazi. I would correct people's spelling, syntax, and punctuation on the internet. I did it because it really did annoy me when I saw these mistakes that I knew were wrong. As I grew up, I realized that I saw "mistakes" that I "knew" were "wrong".

When I learned of linguistics, that languages are alive, that there is no strict continuity of the language between any two generations, then I knew that I didn't have a leg to stand on. People may not be using standard written English, but they were using a form of English (as long as it was mutually intelligible).

So, I retired. I hung up my hat and armband and changed my title to Word Nerd. Because that's what I am now. I am an enthusiast of words and languages. I am interested in grammar and structure. I love the malleability of English and enjoy playing with it the way I once enjoyed playing with Silly Putty. I have no desire to harangue others with "corrections".

I have no desire to, but some people still warrant my ire. People who are wrong are the main group. If you ever tell any person that "effect" is always a noun, and I am within earshot, I will correct you. If you fight with me, I will destroy you.

Language is fun. It has nearly limitless possibilities. But I wholeheartedly advise gaining a thorough grasp of the standard language. That will allow you to play with it and not break it. It will also allow you to avoid putting your foot deep in your mouth when you have an argument with a retired grammar nazi.

One In The Chamber

2011-11-21T05:13:00.000-05:00

The best way to have energy for your next writing session is to finish your current writing session with an idea ready to go. That next scene, that next conversation, that next blog post. Sometimes I sit down and get ready to write and I am totally confident because I know that I need only glance at my notes and I will be able to fire away.

This isn't always easy to plan. Sometimes you have a writing session where you wrote everything out in your mind. That's ok; it means you got a lot of work done. But think about it as a fantastic tool to take on big projects.

It can be daunting knowing you have so many things to work on. But don't think about it in that way. Think of it as a bunch of small projects. Write each of those down. Work on one small project for each writing session. Every time you finish, you will have another one ready to go for the next day.

You may also spontaneously get an idea for something to write as soon as you sit down. That's fine. Go and work on this new, fresh, exciting idea. Know that you still have another writing project in the chamber for the day after that.

It's About The Skeleton

2011-11-20T04:04:00.000-05:00

Once again, I am going to contradict the post I just made. The flesh of a story is important for all the reasons I mentioned yesterday, but it is not something to rely on. When you rely on the same skeleton over and over again, only changing the specifics of the story for each iteration, you become tired and pigeonholed.

Stories that blow you away have remarkable actions. They are surprising things that were unexpected. They are decisions that are difficult to come do and have repercussions that are felt throughout people's lives.

When you watch a body-swap story like Freaky Friday, it isn't interesting; it's just another iteration. You can make one very child-friendly or another one very "adult" or one very violent and gory. But no matter what, it's the same story, and that makes it not terribly interesting.

A story like Inception, on the other hand, is brilliant. Of course it borrows concepts and ideas from predecessors, but the skeleton of the story was original. It was not terribly predictable. It had twists and turns and it was exciting because of that. The characterization was certainly part of the whole experience, but it was the actions and the layers that made the story.

The flesh of a story is important, but not if it comes at the expense of an interesting concept.

It's About The Flesh

2011-11-19T04:16:00.000-05:00

I wrote yesterday's post, unsurprisingly, because I recently had that experience - while having a random conversation at dinner, I heard a phrase that created an entire story in my head.

The phrase was "Piano in Alabama", which totally sounds like the name of a story for kids in middle school or high school to read. The story would open with a homeless man who is trying to sleep in the lobby of a ritzy hotel. The manager is going to kick him out, but the homeless man, sitting at the decorative piano, starts playing incredible music. The manager is blown away, and lets him stay the night, eventually leading to a job as a lobby piano player. Over time, we would learn about this man through his conversations with others in between playing piano, and he would rise in fame and popularity until he reaches his happy ending.

I think this could be an incredible story. But if I simply said that it was a story about a homeless guy who gets a job and does well, it sounds like a tired formula.

What I have right now is the skeleton of the story. I have the basic framework, the destinations and many stops along the way. What I do not have is the flesh. And that's what really matters.

This guy is homeless. Fine. But how did he get there? What was his childhood like? His family? When did he start living on the streets? What are his dreams? How did he learn to play piano so well? What kind of piano playing is he doing?

Those are the important questions to ask. The answers are going to create the specifics and the uniqueness to the story. Those are going to be what people remember and think about. They are going to be what makes the story excellent or piss poor.

Skeletons are important, but really it's about the flesh. Make sure that yours is enticing.

I Still Think About It

2011-11-18T04:34:00.000-05:00

I have a mind like a steel trap: rusty and hard to open.

All kidding aside, memory is pretty lousy. I tend to remember inconsequential crap and never remember those gems of ideas. I have literally been on this website and gotten an amazing idea for a post and, by the time I pressed the New Post button and the page loaded, I lost the idea.

Every now and then, though, I actually retain an idea. Some stroke of genius comes to me and I can see the entire story presented to me. More miraculous though is that, the next day, I still have that story idea in my head, even though I didn't write it down.

Days go by and still I think of this story. It is a tenacious puppy, begging to get some fresh air. Of course, who am I to say no?

It is both a relief and an impetus when this happens. It relieves me that I do not have to grasp at straws for ideas, as is it also nice to know that it is not like holding sand, where it constantly slips away no matter how tightly I grip. It also means I have this drive to write. It is nudging me and saying, "Come on." It wants to see the light of day even more than I do.

If this happens to you, rejoice. But more importantly, do something about it!

Your Story Is A Chapter

2011-11-17T03:44:00.000-05:00

Endings are always tricky things to me. It's so easy to have a premise and follow what actions happen naturally, but when does it end? In a sense, it doesn't. Unless you kill off all your characters or make the world end, they keep going on (and if you kill off your characters, other people's stories go on).

So how do you find an ending? What feels right? The simple answer is that it happens after the primary conflict has been resolved. But you don't finish the story at "And the bad guy was killed." Characters have to process what happened. They have to come down from the rush a bit.

Generally, I see stories end when characters have reclaimed their lives, gotten things back on track, and take their first steps into the next chapter of their lives.

And that's the key right there: it's a chapter in their lives. Stuff happened before and stuff happens afterward. Even if your story followed the life from birth to death of your character, then the same principle applies (the next chapter is other people's lives).

This idea is similar to when I talked about how a story's universe is bigger than any story told within it. A person's life is bigger and more complicated than the portion of it we see in your story.

As a writer, you have to know what happened before and after. This is common advice, but it never stops being crucial. If you don't know what happened to your character in the chapters preceding your story, then your story will be screwed up.

Making Fun vs. Finding Fun

2011-11-16T05:23:00.000-05:00

I find that most people have a belief that good times reside in some random location. Once they find this location, they will be enjoying themselves instantly. These people don't say that this is their belief, but it's how they act.

I admit that sometimes it does seem like you go to the right place and just being there makes you feel better, but that's a rarity.

In reality, fun isn't something you find. Fun is something you make. You can go out or you can stay in. You can be with others or you can be alone. You choose which mood you're in. You decide that you're going to be hung up on some thing which keeps you being unhappy, or you decide to release all your cares and live in the moment.

I know many people who say that they write because writing makes them happy, and yet they are never capable of writing when they're upset. So writing makes them happy when they're already happy. That's silly.

If you enjoy writing in any way, it will make you happy. You have to choose to let it make you happy. You have to agree that you are going to start writing and create a world and lose yourself in this world and without even realizing it, you will become happier because of it.

Open For Interpretation

2011-11-15T04:06:00.000-05:00

Since tonight is a double post, I want to stay on a single subject. Specifically, the last subject. My previous post was about how sometimes you can take one story and derive several lessons from it. This post is about a similar, but vastly different subject: interpretation.

Interpretation is what you think the lesson is. It's how you specifically react to a story. "The Giving Tree", for example, can be seen as a story whose lesson is that a true friend will give anything and everything because they want you to be happy. But it can also be seen as a perfect model of an abusive relationship where one person takes and takes and never appreciates the gifts, yet always asks for more, and the other side is so blinded or deluded that they will even allow themselves to be killed for the abuser.

With interpretation though, everybody is looking at the same thing. In "The Giving Tree", everybody read the same parts, saw the same actions and results. They see the relationship, but they have different beliefs on what that relationship is.

In the story I used in the previous post, the lessons came from different aspects of the story. One of them was about the quality of friendships increasing with fewer numbers. Another was about the difficulties in changing your identity.

Creating a story that is open for interpretation is not difficult. Usually, it simply requires less-than-thorough description. Show characters doing things, but don't have anybody expressly say why. Then it is for the readers to guess or assume why.

I have mixed feelings about such stories. Sometimes it can lead to incredible misunderstandings (which would be poor communication). Sometimes, though, it can lead to very interesting discussion points. It can lead to philosophy and questions. And if you are doing that, then maybe you are doing something worthwhile.

So Many Points

2011-11-15T03:26:00.000-05:00

I told a story to my friend today. The short version is that, over the last several years, I have found myself keeping far fewer friends, and that although I felt bad about even being willing to turn people away, it has been a positive evolution because the friendships I do maintain are deeper and more meaningful.

So, what was the point of my story? That depends on who I'm telling it to and why. Today, I told it because my friend keeps too many lousy people in his life. My friend stretches himself too thin, so the point of my story is that everyone would be better off, himself included, if he would trim the fat and grow deeper relationships with fewer friends (including spending more time to grow those relationships).

I told the exact same story a couple days ago to a different friend. She was having an existential crisis because she could not cope with the idea that she is not the person she used to be. For her, the point of the story was that such crises are natural. People change. It comes with growing older. And usually, we are also growing up. I, too, am noticeably different from the person I once knew myself as, but I have come to realize that I am a better, happier, richer person for it.

This is, as it turns out, my most favorite kind of story: one with so many points. I enjoy a good fable which slaps you in the face with its sole lesson, but I much more prefer a story where there are several points. I love that I can draw upon one example to explain several concepts.

Writing such a story requires multiple things happening. It requires different fronts, different characters, simultaneous experiences. It usually requires the different aspects interacting and weaving together. Writing with so many points is dense writing. And dense writing is the best way to be succinct. (And if you know me at all, you know I think that's the best.)

Objectification

2011-11-13T02:24:00.000-05:00

Objectification is used too narrowly these days. It is used exclusively with "women" in talking about how they are treated as a means for having sex. But there is so much more to it.

Objectification is presenting anything as an object. Consider how often a story has a protagonist meet a character who embodies their fear or their courage. These are objectifications. The same thing happens with the angel and devil sitting on a person's shoulder (objectifying morals and desires). When the Wizard of Oz gave the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion their gifts, those were also objectifications.

Even in terms of humanity, objectifying is more than sexual. When you think about how many people it would take to fill a swimming pool, you are objectifying them. They are no longer unique individuals, but blank slates whose sheer purpose is to be a tool to be counted and measured, but not examined.

"Evil corporations" are considered evil because they objectify us. They do not think of humans as people, but merely as numbers. How many people have to die before you recall your dangerous product? That is a question that is actually considered and answered by the "evil ones". (Of course, they lose court cases because the human victims tell their human stories to juries, who are sympathetic.)

Any time you think of a person in general, as a statistic or a number - any time that you think of a human being, but are not considering their life and feelings and experiences, you are objectifying that person. It is not an evil thing in itself (nor is it good in nature); it is why you objectify them and what you justify through your objectification that makes it good or evil.

What's In A Name

2011-11-12T04:35:00.000-05:00

When I am having a conversation with somebody, I do not need to use their name. They know who they are and they know I am talking to them. Still, I will use a person's name at times.

There are two primary reasons I use the name of the person I am talking to. The first is for punctuation. It catches their attention. If they are drifting or otherwise not at full attention, using their name snaps them into focus. I am talking to them. I'm not speaking metaphorically or theoretically. I am using their name so they know that I really am directing it at them.

The other reason I do it has nothing whatsoever to do with communication. Sometimes I really just like using a person's name. It sounds good to me. It feels good to say. It may not add to the conversation at all, but it makes me feel good.

As a writer, you have an obligation to your audience. You must communicate. You must intrigue. You ought to provoke thoughts. But, as a human being, you have to enjoy yourself. And there is no reason not to write things that also make you feel good. I always say that you should not ever add anything to your writing that lowers its quality. But there is no reason to leave something out if it doesn't hurt your writing and makes you happy.

Your Vocabulary And Your Voice

2011-11-11T04:54:00.000-05:00

When reading other pieces of writing, I will sometimes have to look up a word. It may be that I have never seen the word before in my life, but it may also be that I simply don't know exactly what a word means and I want an exact definition.
I don't think my vocabulary is particularly great, but I bet that I use words from time to time that other people can't readily define.

Actually, I should clarify that. My vocabulary is tremendous in the sense of words I know. When it comes to words I use, it ain't so grand. I tend not to like needlessly complex words and most of my thoughts can be expressed in the basic ones that everybody knows.

There is use in distinguishing between your vocabulary and your voice. Your voice includes only part of your vocabulary.

In reading my friend's novel, I came across the word "wanly". I know the word. I have come across it. But I never use it. It doesn't strike me sweetly, nor do I find it particularly descriptive, so I personally let it go.

This is no slight to my friend though. Her voice is different. For her, it is a word worth using. When I read it, I had no problems with it. I simply would not choose to use it.

And it goes both ways. I'm sure that the word "cessation" does not appear in her prose very often, but I used it five days ago.

Young writers often struggle with "finding their voice." (And by "young", I mean in terms of writing experience.) Truly, don't worry about it. Your voice is a natural thing. It is what you choose to do unconsciously. You already have a voice. You will simply discover that one day when you realize yours is different from others.

Trash Bad Ideas

2011-11-10T03:12:00.000-05:00

I very often write about whatever thoughts are on my mind. I write my draft, often doing only minor editing as I write, then post it without even giving it a once over (hence spelling errors and such). Despite all of this, I do have some semblance of quality control.

Tonight, I had an idea while I was out, so I wrote it down with my pen and paper (hence why they always come with me when I leave the house). But as I wrote my idea down, the arguments began. I took the other side and questioned all of the statements and assertions I put down.

Now, arguing with myself is standard operating procedure. If I don't fight my argument, I don't know that it's right. Tonight, I poked so many holes in my idea that I crossed the whole thing out. Underneath it, I wrote, "Trash bad ideas: I do have some quality control." And that is why I wrote this post tonight.

A thought: Bad ideas are not worthless. Were it not for the experience I had with the bad idea, I would not have had the good idea for today's post.

Lie Like A Fly With A Booger In Its Eye

2011-11-09T03:06:00.000-05:00

In a very old episode of The Simpsons, there is a scene at the school where a girl says, "You lie like a fly with a booger in its eye!" It's funny. It's also kind of catchy. In fact, it's so catchy that I still remember it to this day.

I said it in a conversation today, at which point I noticed something I never considered before: 'lie', 'fly', and 'eye' all rhyme, but all use different letters to make the rhyming sound.

This is a perfect example of whether you want your writing read or heard. When you speak it, it rhymes and is catchy and amusing. When you read it, it comes off weird and gross (not to mention nonsensical).

Sometimes I have a turn of phrase or a good dialogue, but I realize that it is only funny when spoken (if you come up with as many puns as I do, it's a fairly common occurrence). It's not pleasant, but when I'm in that situation, I simply have to let it go. There is no way to force it without lowering the quality of your writing.

I Changed My Subhead Again

2011-11-08T04:36:00.000-05:00

Below "Cheff Salad" it currently reads, "Education and encouragement, in writing and in life." (I say this not because I think you didn't read it, but for those reading the archives in the future and my subhead being changed once again.)

On one hand, I could say that my focus keeps changing, so I change continue to change my subhead to reflect that.

On the other hand, I could say that my focus has not changed, but I am finding more accurate words to describe what it is.

On a third hand, I could say that I got bored or sick of my then subhead and decided to change it to something more palatable.

But, I don't have that many hands, so I'm going to assume it's a little bit from all of them.

I would go on to explain it, but I would like to think that it speaks for itself. If I'm wrong, let me know and I'll go ahead and explain it.

I Don't Know What You'll Get

2011-11-07T02:59:00.000-05:00

I'm a pretty calm and collected dude, but I'm also fairly unstable. Let's be real: everybody is fairly unstable; this is not rare or surprising. Common though it may be, it is a good fact to be aware of.

When I wake up, I have no idea what mood I'm going to be in (well, I'm always grumpy in the morning, but after I really wake up). When I have a conversation with somebody, I don't know if I'm going to be very serious or if I'll be a total smartass (or if I'll be completely indifferent).

When I get an idea for a story, I don't know if it's going to be a comedy or a drama. I find that out when I'm writing it.

I sometimes entertain the idea of doing improv (comedy, poetry, or anything else). I generally dismiss it, though, because I know I'm not stable. If I go to a comedy club and improv a totally dramatic scene, people won't be too happy.

However, I really do find this to be a potentially beneficial quality. It means I'm diverse. I have a wide range. I won't be pigeon-holed. And even if I do tend to have my own predictable style, it is harder to predict which one of my styles I'm going to use.

I find it very important to keep things different and changing. In that sense, it's kind of nice that even my own reactions are a surprise to me. I am also aware, though, that I must be careful what situations I put myself in. And when I am in a situation where only one kind of response is acceptable, I use all my effort to hold back all of the unacceptable responses that come to mind.

Writing, though, is freedom. You just let it all come out. Make sense of it later. I don't know what you'll get. You don't know what you'll get, either. But no matter what, when you are putting words together, you will end up with something.

Peace

2011-11-06T03:26:00.000-05:00

When I'm ending a conversation with somebody, more often than not, I'll say "Peace." It's my favorite way to say goodbye.

"Peace" is a commonly known and accepted farewell. Because of that, it is readily received. But that is only half of the story.

Like so many other words and phrases, people usually don't think about them. They all have meanings, though. And "peace" isn't too difficult to figure out.

I really wish peace upon people. We all have struggles, difficulties, stresses. I would like for people to be able to handle those stresses and let go of their frustrations. I want people to be at peace, even if only momentarily.

Although I say it casually, I take care to say it when somebody is obviously on the frazzled side. If somebody comes to me and they're in a great mood, I don't need to wish peace upon them (though I still might).

People may not think about my intentions, but they can still be affected by them. Just hearing or reading the word "peace" may reach them subconsciously. It may spark them to start thinking about the word, thinking about the concept, realizing that it may be something they want.

And maybe nothing will happen. I don't know. Nothing is guaranteed, especially when it comes to humans and subtlety.

Still, this is why word choice matters. The difference between 'goodbye', 'farewell', 'peace', 'later', 'see you later', 'see ya later', 'catch ya later' and all the other phrases we have just for this one instance of human interaction (or cessation thereof) are minute, but still exist. Those are the fine points of your writing. They are the finishing touches (even though you may do it in your first draft or at the very end of your final polishing stage).

They are how you build atmosphere without looking like you're trying to build atmosphere (an incredibly handy skill for the succinct writer). You may do this with conscious effort or you may do it naturally. In either case, be aware of it.

Peace.

Genuine Human Response

2011-11-05T03:32:00.000-04:00

I am reading a friend's unpublished novel. I have been deplorably slow in reading through a scant 200 pages. One day, I told my friend this and explained why. Part of it is that the unplanned parts of life got in the way, but more of it was that the book wasn't my cup of tea. Not a genre I cared for, etc.

Although I was told that I didn't have to keep reading, I knew I was going to. First of all, I said I was. Second, I like to read my friends' writings - the opportunity is not so frequent and I want to see what they have to say. Third, I have learned from experience with other friends' writings that I could totally have a story pegged wrong and get blown away if I kept reading. And I had to know if that would happen.

Tonight, I continued reading, and I got blown away.

One of the things that bothered me was that the cast was high school students and listening to high school problems is so ridiculous. But as I read one of those ridiculous situations, the paragraph that followed was the protagonist's reaction. And that reaction was powerful.

To an outsider looking in, relationships and all related drama sound like melodrama. But to the person experiencing it, it is their entire world. My friend expertly captured that. She used just the right words that caught my attention and made me feel. She described the reaction like a real human would react, like I myself would probably react. I had to keep going.

As I continued reading, real drama happened. Things got serious. They got exciting. I literally only stopped reading because it was 3 AM and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Some of this was the author's doing. She made some crazy stuff happen that shook things up. But what was most compelling was the characters. They were real. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how well people's thoughts and actions were like my own or like people I knew.

I speak often of our characters and the effort that we should put in to convey their reality. I sometimes forget what it is like to be a reader experiencing that (I read too much nonfiction nowadays, so prose fiction is special).

No matter how silly a situation may seem to you, the people in it see it as quite serious. As such, they have a genuine human reaction to it. That's what makes a story powerful.

Don't Reveal Your Secrets

2011-11-04T01:39:00.000-04:00

I can sense the irony immediately reading the title of this post and realizing that this is a blog on writing, where I am purposefully revealing all of my secrets. Let me explain.

I was talking with a friend tonight and bantering. I made some comment to which my friend said, "That was funny!" Meanwhile, I was just dumbfounded. I didn't tell a joke. I simply made a comment like I would in any normal situation.

All I could say was, "Of course it was. I wasn't trying to be funny."

Flash forward two hours and I'm standing in the shower thinking, why did I admit that?! I could have just kept my mouth shut and looked brilliant.

That's when I thought about the saying that "a magician never reveals his secrets." And I felt like the kind of guy who does a trick and immediately shouts out, "Here's how I did it!"

Sometimes the audience just needs the experience. They don't need to know what's going on behind the scenes. Sometimes you get really excited about all of the inner workings. If you made them, you are very proud of them. And you want to share that pride by telling people. But not everybody will have the same appreciation.

Keep a little mystery involved. Let people wonder about you. Make it be a special thing when you reveal some unknown fact about your stories or your process. It makes you look better and it can make your work more enjoyable.

Double Posts, Single Subject

2011-11-03T02:16:00.000-04:00

My rule here is one post per day. If I miss a day, no matter what the reason, I post two on the second day (or three on the third day if I miss two in a row). The point is that it evens out.

Although I hate to miss an update, some things are beyond my control. There is a bright side to it, though. I can make a double update on a single subject. Recently, I did a double post on voice. One was about your writer's voice, and the other was about your spoken voice.

They easily could stand alone, and I could have written them one day apart like usual, but since I had them and since I was going to do two posts, it seemed like a good idea to put them together. That way you could read these different facets of a subject at the same time.

Maybe not every cloud has a silver lining, but you can often make positive outcomes from negative situations. It also means there is never an excuse to stop writing, nor is there an excuse to feel bad about missing your update. Just means you have to keep it up.

Preconceived Notions

2011-11-02T03:25:00.000-04:00

I call myself a scientist. I care about facts more than anything else. Without facts, the world is a horrifying mass of confusion. And the only way to acquire facts is though research, experimentation, and analyzing results. Generally, this process is known as the scientific method

I have been taught the scientific method throughout my schooling. It is always described the same way and it always bothers the crap out of me. The first step is always "Make a hypothesis." Hypotheses are stupid and worthless. In fact, they're worse than that; they're detrimental.

'Hypothesis' is a fancy term for 'preconceived notion' (which, admittedly, is also a fairly fancy term). In short, you walk into an experiment expecting a certain result. But when you do that, you start to see things in a way that supports your hypothesis. Basically, if you want to see a certain outcome bad enough, you will find that outcome.

Much writing is experimental. The point of an experiment is to find answers, so begin it by asking questions. What would happen if these two different people were in close quarters for an extended period of time? What would happen if a person with particular personality traits was placed in an unfamiliar setting?

You may have some thoughts come to you of possible results. These are preconceived notions. But they are thoughts, not assertions. Let them be and do your writing to find out what actually happens. Then you will be a proud scientist and probably a decent writer.

I'm Not Talking About You

2011-11-01T03:23:00.001-04:00

I wax philosophical. It's what I do. I will start talking in generalities because some particular concept is on my mind.

Now, regardless of what may have stimulated those thoughts, once I'm talking in generalities, I am not talking about you.

The point of generalities is that they can apply to countless people and situations. They are designed to make people think, to look around them and to look within.

What I may be saying could directly apply to you. It could make you feel very strongly that I am hinting or nudging. Ultimately, though, that's not the case. It isn't my style.

In a sense, you should think like generalities are aimed toward you (because you sould think about how they apply to you and your life), but act like they are not. You get all of the benefit with none of the pain.

Cheffing It Up A Thousand Times Over

2011-10-31T01:59:00.000-04:00

This is post #1000 here at Cheff Salad. I truly had no intention of making a big deal of it, but then I did. I changed my mind because I was saying to myself that I was cheffing it up in cheff-field and calling my friend Franklyn Deleneau Cheffington.

For me, "cheff" is a nonsense word. It's fun to say. It sounds good. But it has zero meaning. I use it to fill space. I use it to say something when there is nothing to say. When I use it as a verb (e.g. cheffing it up), I am using it to mean that not much is going on.

That understanding is exactly why I named this blog Cheff Salad. I didn't have a better name. It had no significance and I couldn't publish an untitled blog. This was an experiment at best and a homework assignment at worst. The title was contemptuous.

Still, once I made it, I had no desire to change it. I kinda liked it. It kinda made me laugh (it still does). It was not pretentious nor was it lackadaisical. It was a title that was weird and off, much like the person who wrote it.

As time went on, the name became standard to me. The word stuck in my head and escaped my mouth more often. It was no longer a joke or a mocking. It was simply a thing that existed. That's pretty much where it stands now.

Maybe one day it will become an institution. Somebody will create a silly image of a "cheff salad" and I'll make it my logo and I'll go out and make sure that everybody reads my words (no doubt with the help of my loyal followers). But until that time, I will keep on writing and keep on letting those who find it enjoy it.

I started this blog for myself. I continue to update it for myself. I share it on the internet for everybody else. I do hope that people read it. I hope that they think and that they learn. I hope they are motivated. If I never wrote anything other than these posts, but they caused other people to create wonderful things, I would die a truly happy man.

I don't really have a specific end to this post because it is not an ending. It is merely a milestone. I will continue to write, continue to update, continue to encourage you. All you have to do is continue to read.

How Easily Can You Enter A Story?

2011-10-30T12:55:00.000-04:00

I hate to get into a series partway through (be it book, television, movie, video game, etc.). I always feel like I am going to miss out on major, important parts of the story. Invariably, though, I do start a series in the middle. What's interesting, though, is that I usually don't have that much trouble with it.

I can figure out who characters are, their relationships, their goals, their problems. It requires a bit of work at first, but once it's in place, it's not much different than if you had started it at the beginning.

Part of being able to do that is the understanding that there are certain requirements in a story (characters, setting, plot) and that if you can fill in those blanks, you're good to go. This functions just like in medias res, but it's not on purpose.

As an audience member, you sometimes get put into this situation, even if you don't intend to (think about every conversation you've walked into in the middle of). Rather than ask a million questions to try to orient yourself, just go with it and figure out as you go along.

As a writer, make sure that your story can be entered from any point. This generally doesn't require conscious effort as long as your story is focused and everything ties together at the end. But, if things do start getting convoluted, or if you keep changing perspectives, it is good to find ways to reorient your readers by slipping in references to what happened earlier so as to explain why people are doing what they're doing now.

Fashion vs. Function

2011-10-29T06:37:00.000-04:00

It seemed a common saying amongst the pretty and popular: "Fashion over function." I hate that saying. I'm a utilitarian. I wear cargo pants because I need all those pockets for my stuff.

In retaliation, I have always said I believe in "Function over fashion." It's true. But people often misunderstand it.

It is not "function instead of fashion." It simply means that I choose utility first. If I can also look good while I do things, that's even better. Just because I want to carry a lot of things in pockets doesn't mean I have to look like a dork. I will, however, choose to look like a dork if it is the best way of satisfying my needs.

I have taken a similar stance on writing. Your stories need to be, first and foremost, effective. You need to be able to convey your thoughts such that your readers will understand them. If people have no idea what's going on, they can't care. After you are coherent, then you can be pretty. You can work on your phrasing, your word choice, all of that stuff that heightens the experience.

Part of the whole writing a quick first draft is that you will be constructing your functionality. Make your characters, your plot, your actions and interactions. You will be able to tell your story so that everybody knows what happens. Your subsequent drafts will be making those words fashionable.

If you put a dress and makeup on a pig, it's still a pig. If you put tattered rags on a gorgeous human, it will be a fashion trend. So try to make your stories interesting and compelling at their core. Then you can dress it up any way you please.

Pen AND Paper

2011-10-29T06:23:00.000-04:00

For quite a while now, I have been carrying a pen with me wherever I go, but I never took any paper. Yes, I was aware that it was silly, but I somehow thought that I could get a piece of paper wherever I was. In fact, it is so not true that it is easier to find a pen than the paper to write on.

Tonight, I brought paper with me. I wrote down two tasks to accomplish (one of them being a reminder to do two updates today) and I came up with three ideas to write about (one of them being this blog post).

A pen is useless without paper (and ink in it and a surface to write on). A laptop is useless without power (and a writing program and functional parts). The real lesson is to realize that, for as simple as writing is, it still requires a number of parts, and without having them all, you simply can't do it.

Don't bring a pen with you if you don't have paper to write on. You don't need anything fancy, just functional.

Your Voice vs. "Your Voice"

2011-10-27T03:55:00.000-04:00

One of the things I find incredibly odd is how thoroughly different a person's writing voice is from their spoken voice. And I mean that on two levels.

First off, written and spoken communication is similar, but always different. Writing is planned. No matter how quickly you write and how quickly you hit the send button, you have the chance to pick your words, a chance to edit your words. Most importantly, you get all the time you want to think about how you will respond before you even begin writing.

When you speak, you are on the spot. Silence is a major no-no. You don't get to edit cleanly. You may be able to edit by doing strikethroughs, but then everybody still sees your false starts. You have to say whatever is at the top of your head and the tip of your tongue and deal with the consequences.

The second level of this is that we assume that writers sound a certain way aurally or we simply never consider what they sound like in person. To see a writer and hear them talk can completely blow your mind. Somehow, their voice never matches what you thought it would be.

In both of these cases, there is really not a whole lot you can do about it. Just understand from both sides of the table (as audience member and as writer) that it will probably happen and roll with it.

Of course, in the case of written versus spoken communication, I highly recommend practicing both. Public speaking is an incredibly handy skill.

Your Voice

2011-10-27T03:27:00.000-04:00

People really like song lyrics. That's not a problem to me, but it is annoying that people do not like attributing quoted materials. In short, people constantly use song lyrics but don't say anything to indicate that it isn't their words.

Sometimes it isn't too difficult to tell that something is lyrics. There is either weird line breaks or punctuation, or really obvious rhyming. Even still, that doesn't eliminate the possibility that somebody wrote some poetry and put it up for the world to see.

Even though none of my friends have ever posted original poetry on Facebook or as an away message, I would have no trouble telling whether or not it was theirs. And that is because of their voice.

People speak in a particular way. The longer you are around somebody, the more familiar you become with that. The more familiar other people become with you, too.

To a degree, you can't give other people your lines. They don't have your voice. You may be similar and be able to get by, but eventually it gets realized.

The best editors will do one of two things. They will either be able to approximate your voice as perfectly as possible so that the replacements they give you sound like your lines, or they will give you ideas and sparks that allow you to revise your work with your own voice.

Your voice will likely change over time. New influences like people and other writers will be a major cause. You will also sometimes change just because you got bored of doing the same old thing or because some new thing you came up with struck your fancy.

Still, when you have forgotten the words of those outside influences and you are not using some particular technique or turn of phrase, then you will hear your true voice. It is how you sound when you believe that you don't sound like you have been influenced by anybody.

Everything You Write Is A Story

2011-10-25T02:54:00.000-04:00

I often use the word "story" when referring to one's writing. Admittedly, I often think of one's writing as a traditional fictional prose narrative, but in a sense, everything you write is a story.

Standard fiction and creative nonfiction are functionally the same. These are stories. But really, all nonfiction is a story of sorts. A biography has to be compelling; it is more than a collection of facts. Anything short of a scientific report should be a compelling story (why else would anybody read it?). And, even within scientific reports, you are still telling a story. There is an introduction where we learn players and setting and struggles. There is a journey. There is a moment of truth, and there is a conclusion. The Scientific Method is the same as the storytelling method.

Keep this in mind when you write, no matter what you write: You are telling a story. You need to be interesting. You need to lead people from sentence to sentence, thought to thought. You probably have a point to make and that's fine. Make your point, but don't make it a chore.

Yes, every genre will have its own nuances, but the principles remain the same. Good storytelling is good storytelling. So, if you are writing something, tell a good story.

Closure

2011-10-24T04:06:00.000-04:00

I've heard it said that stories seek closure. On its face, it makes sense. A story involves a protagonist with a problem who makes a decision, thus ending the problem. Whatever the result may be (positive or negative, foreseen or unforeseen), the choice has been made and the matter is closed.

I take issue with this. Nothing is ever closed. Nothing goes away forever. No part of your past stops affecting you.

Every couple of years, I will randomly get a thought in my head. I will think of myself from elementary school. It may be something I did or saw or thought. And after that, I will feel off for the rest of the day. I was a completely different person back then in every respect. It boggles my mind that those memories are of me. But they are.

Throughout my life, I have had opportunities come and go. I have made my choices and there is no way to go back and do it again. The matter may be closed, but that does not mean there is closure.

Thoughts linger. Feelings do, too. Once there is no more action we can take, we are forced to sit with those lingering thoughts and feelings and deal with them.

And that is where interesting stories come from.

Stories about the choices people make can be quite compelling. They can be wonderful escapist fantasy. In real life, though, that is not always the case. More often than not, we find ourselves having to live with the decisions we've made. It is not always pleasant and there is not a whole lot we can do about it, but everybody finds their own way to cope.

To me, that is where interesting stories come from: The ever-gripping pull of reality. People respond to humanity. And what is more human than a person dealing with the results of their choices?

I do not like the idea that there is no such thing as closure. It is a grim and dark belief. But, it is what I believe (at least as of writing this). If nothing else, I can use it to aid my craft.